Postcards from the Edge

Where do the weekends go?

2012-01-23T09:25:00.002-05:00

I love the weekends. I get to hang out with Mike, maybe do some shopping, hit a restaurant. These are a few of my favorite things :)

This weekend we did these things. I don't think I bought anything interesting though, not that I can remember. Unless you consider groceries interesting because then, oh baby could I rock your world.

We did have some interesting conversations this weekend though. One developed from a conversation about something Stress One posted on Facebook. Let me go grab that so I can post it here - you'll enjoy this.......

"Ah South Carolina a bible belt state where you can't gamble or buy liquor on Sunday. But the people just voted for a man who's had three affairs including one while his wife was dying of cancer. South Carolinians are the the dumbest pieces of crap on this planet."

I'd like to point out that I've said many times the kid's gonna get himself killed. lol

He firmly believes in the "This is my space and I can say what I want to here" reality. Which, don't get me wrong, I agree wholeheartedly with. This is America and freedom of speech still reigns supreme (at least I think it does; haven't read the paper today) and so he should be able to say whatever he wants. Right?

In theory sure, but in reality, not so much. I wish he would tone it down sometimes. As one of his "friends" pointed out in her comment (paraphrasing here) "we didn't ask you yankees to move here and we'll be happy to help you pack so you can get the hell out".

She's right. There are a lot of us "transplanted" Northerners here and we do tend to want the state and its citizens to be more like us. I'm guilty of these same types of things. BUT - you knew there was a but didn't you - I don't take to the airwaves with these thoughts. I have friends in this State who are from this State and poking fun at them is one thing, but trashing them is another. Ok...all done.

This brings me to the conversations this weekend with the husband, which are definitely lighter in tone.

Mike: I don't think I'm voting this year.
Me: Ok, but I don't want to hear you complain either.
Mike: Well if I voted it would be for Romney cause he's from Massachusetts.
Me: .......what? We now choose who we're voting for based on where they live?
Mike: Well yeah. I like Mass; the Red Sox and the Patriots are there. The last guy who was from Mass that we voted in did ok.
Me: .......what? You're kidding right? You do realize that the "last guy" was a Democrat right? (He was referring to Kennedy) And that Romney is Republican, right? And that those are two VERY different things, right? And that it's not because they're both from Mass that makes him a good candidate, right? You know this right? You're kidding, right?!?!
Mike: No.
Me: Oooookaaaaayyyy. (I really had to let it go cause I was actually getting mad, and I didn't want to get mad. I don't like to fight about politics.)

A few minutes later...

Mike: There sure have been a lot of bank robberies lately. (not a great segue per se, but good job changing the subject nonetheless)
Me: Yep. It's the times we're in. People don't know what else to do for money.
Mike: Right, so they rob banks.
Me: Yep, three hots and a cot.
Mike: Not a bad plan if you think about it. If you've got nothing else anyway you might as well rob a bank. If you get away you've got money and if not then you have someplace to stay where they'll feed you, free medical....really sounds pretty good actually.
Me: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!?!?!?! First you say you're voting for someone based on where he's from and now you're basically condoning bank robberies??!! GET OUT OF MY CAR!!

Later that evening...

Me: I don't know if I ever told you this, but when I use the potty I always cross my left leg over my right. Every.Single.Time. I wonder if it's because I'm so very ladylike.
Mike: .....really?
Me: Why do you think I do that? And do you think that's weird?
Mike: I don't know and yes, it's weird. Ask your friends (he means YOU GUYS) and see what they say. I bet they say it's weird too.

So those are my random conversations this weekend. And now I have to ask you guys "Is it weird, or does anyone else do that?"

And also, pray for my son. Many more Facebook posts like that one and he may get "disappeared".

My first (YES Chris, this one IS about you)...

2012-01-11T18:00:00.000-05:00

My eldest, aptly named Stress 1, decided to read my blog last night. My blog is not hidden and I'm sure he's known about it since its inception, but last night he read it.

His comments went from "you're a good writer, funny." "I wish I sounded that funny on paper blah, blah, blah" to ::Crickets:: No comments at all. Clearly he had read back farther than he wished he had.

There was a time, a few years ago, when he was not the light of joy he is now (<~~~~~ insert sarcastic tone here). There was the "dark time". The time best left in the past. A time when my heart was broken from a loss I never knew I could endure. A time when, although I still loved him, I was completely and utterly disappointed in him. You've all been there through it with me and you know of which "times" I speak.

This morning the texting began. Texts like "I didn't know you had such a low opinion of me" and "no wonder none of your friends like me" and my personal favorite "well, we weren't exactly the best of friends then".

I tried to explain to him that while this is my blog, my personal space, my sounding board if you will, that I never meant to hurt his feelings. But also, I am wholly unapologetic for the things I wrote. They were real. They were me. They needed to be put out there for my own health and sanity.

I didn't talk to anyone about the Lorelai situation, except you guys. I didn't talk to anyone about the "legal" issues, except you guys. I didn't express to anyone my sadness and disappointment in the way things were going for him...except to you guys. You were my rocks and I needed you all. Each and every one of you. And I hope he gets that. I needed all of you to get through those times.

We talked - or shall I say texted. (And that's another tangent for another day, but WTF with texting all the time??? I would rather talk, scream, cry or whatever else needs to be done than text!) I think we're ok. I told him that I'm not in that place anymore. I don't think he's bad - truly I never did think he was bad. I don't have a low opinion of him and most importantly, I really hope and pray his life is on an upswing now and will continue in that way. He's been working fairly steadily since he had the cast removed. His dad has been a steadying influence on him for sure. He's seemingly on a straight path.

But Chris...when you read this, and I'm sure you will - know that I'm hopeful, cautiously optimistic even, that you can stay on that straight path. Also know that as a parent, even though we love our children to the brink of insanity at times, we still have the capacity to feel disappointment in them and/or the choices they make. It never means we love them any less.

One of the last things I said to Chris was that I wanted to move forward and that was impossible to do if you're constantly looking in the rear view. So let's forget those times and move forward. I love you.

Nesting, Exercising and lies...oh my

2012-01-08T14:01:00.000-05:00

~~We've~~, I've decided to make this house more like a home and finally put a little bit more of my stamp on it. I've already done a few things, but I haven't done A THING with the bedroom. So a-shopping we did go.
Well, we were standing in line at the checkout from buying some more artwork for the house (I like to call it "artwork" because that sounds ritzier than "pictures") and it's taking an unusually long time. Mike looks up towards the front of the line and immediately sees the problem - someone is paying by check, which as we all know takes time to write out, verify and whatnot. Well Mike, never having been one who's good at using his inside voice, pipes out with - "Who the hell pays by check these days?!"
Me: ::looking in opposite direction so as to not look as though I'm with him::

The entire rest of the line: ::looking right at him::

I really have to get that man some home training.

We got all my treasures home and then came the hard part....getting Mike to hang everything without calling in an architect for blueprint drawings. What is it with men and their need to have a level, measuring tape, pencils and all the furniture moved into the middle of the room - so it's not in their way obviously - when all we're looking for is to get a picture hung? I don't understand the "rocket science" approach. Sorry.

That being said, here's the ONE picture I hung.

I didn't need a level or anything else listed above. I do however have to hold my head at a left angle to look at it. Yeah it's a little off, whatever.

These are the pieces in the bedroom and a new one for the living room (because...obviously...I was there anyway might as well by something for the living room too).

In other news...

I never make New Year's Resolutions because any time I've heard someone make one they never stick to it. That being said, I HAVE however made a Healthier Living Resolution for my life...not just for the New Year (yeah...semantics I know).

I had decided NO liquor of any kind for 30 days (I can TO do it!) and watching what I eat as well as getting back on that workout horse I fell off of a few months ago. Not a real horse you know...I'm sure you got that though.

Ok, so one week in and here's my update (don't worry, I won't give continual updates, just this one most likely)

I haven't gone through withdrawals or killed anyone.
I've lost 2 pounds.
I broke the treadmill and ALMOST my neck.
And lastly, I feel good. Happy even . Who knew? :)

Now to end this post...

If you caught someone in a TOTAL lie, but in order to call them on it you had to admit to something you had done that was, shall we say, less than moral yourself....would you admit your secret and call them out or let it ride? I'm very curious to see how these comments go ;)

Later chicas!!!

A Chris is just a Chris

2012-01-04T09:00:00.000-05:00

Dinner conversation, or any conversation really, with Stress 1 is always interesting. He's very intelligent. He can talk about anything and never seems out of place. I've always been impressed by that.

One thing that bugs the crap out of me though, is that we always.end.up.in.a.political.discussion. Always.
We could be talking about a band, say Kings of Leon, and somehow that turns to Kings, which turns to Presidents, which turns to "W got a bum rap". It never fails. Politics in 6 degrees.

I love that my boys have their own minds, own opinions and own ideals; but how did I raise such a staunch Republican?! It's hilarious. We're so liberal, and that's what he grew up with, and he's so NOT. It's not so bad except that he doesn't know when to say when. Once he gets on a roll, he will not stop till everyone around him sees his point of view, even if he has to beat it into you, but he refuses to see others points of view. I'm the one who always has to blow the whistle. He would be a great asset to the Republican party, if he didn't get shot by a Democrat. Love that boy.

He's just come out of his own blogging moratorium because he's trying his hand at some article writing in the hopes of turning that into a book. Here's his blog link if you're into reading about politics, conspiracies, and conspiracies in politics. Chris M.

He's always wanted to write a book. All his life. Except it used to be about things like "My summer at my grandparents" and now it's likely to be something in the realm of conspiracy theories. I just love that he's writing again. Anything to keep him from talking to me.

New Year and New Beginnings

2011-12-30T17:26:00.000-05:00

Well here I am; back in the blogosphere. That was quite a sabbatical wasn't it? I've been wanting to come back, but I always found one reason or another to put it off. Much like a lot of things in my life. But no more...I'm ready to move on.

So first on the agenda is to tell you all what's new in my life.
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Absolutely nothing. Sad, no? So much time and so little news. We did move, as many of you know. Mike got laid off (Oh wait, that's news isn't it?!) last year and we had to give up the house. It was sad. I really loved that house and put a lot of myself into it, but it was the best thing that could have happened to us/for us at the time. On many levels.
So now we have a quaint two bedroom apartment in which the second bedroom is my office, which I use for my transcribing business. That's taken off fairly well (Shoot, that's more news isn't it?!) and while on the one hand I rail at the Gods for spending the money on schooling I'll never use, on the other hand if I hadn't gone to school I'd never have even thought of going down the transcribing road, having never given it an inkling of interest, and therefore would not be doing as well as I am now. So, chalk that up to another of life's lessons.
Mike has gotten into working on his contractors license so he can take over the HVAC business of a friend (Holy moly, more news. I suck at this) when he retires next year. That business is very "sound" , which is great and that means we'll both be self-employed next year. I'm so proud of him for doing it. And also...who knew he was that smart?!?!?! Seriously! There are times when he rambles on about his work and my eyes gloss over (not gonna lie), but there are times as well when I hear him on the phone talking to a client and it amazes me how good he is at what he does. That's probably crappy to say out loud, but I GAVE HIM PROPS TOO DAMMIT!!!!
He's still not really good with the business side of business, i.e money and collections, but I'll be happy to go all Tony Soprano on someone's ass if necessary.
Still in the market for a new best friend. I'll be taking applications through the end of January.
Planning another trip to the big hair state this spring. Cannot wait to see Jill, Niki and whoever else I can visit while there. Really looking forward to that.
And lastly, planning on making sure I think about ME this year. No more of this "Make sure everybody else has everything their little hearts desire, even if it means bending over backward so far I can kiss my own ass"; this time it's all about me.
I deserve at least that.

Can't wait to catch up on all your blogs. I've really missed this sort of "sisterhood" we have.
Stay tuned and I'll catch ya on the flip side!!!

Happy New Year to you ALL!!!!!

I wonder who our baby will look like.

2010-08-10T12:58:00.000-04:00

So my trip to Texas was…interesting. The liquor store owner was very sorry to hear I wasn’t moving there permanently. He had been drawing up blueprints for a new game room on his house, that he was now able to afford due to the fifty-eleven billion bottles of Malibu we purchased from him over that 2 weeks. I think his daughter needed braces too. Sorry Billy Bob, maybe next visit.

Jill was a better hostess this time and insured I was fed while I was there. Although the first couple of nights, I wasn’t so sure that was going to be the case. So, this one night we were having Chili’s take-out and Niki (the friend responsible for the free stay in Padre) and I had gone in to replenish our drinks. We were parched…it’s hot in Texas. Shut up.

So we go to the kitchen and open the ‘to go’ box containing the Southwest eggrolls – SIDE NOTE: IF YOU’VE NEVER HAD THESE SOUTHWESTERN EGGROLLS FROM CHILI’S, THEY’RE THE FRICKIN BOMB – and there’s only 1 left!! This is bad. Trust me. I was instantly concerned because I know when I drink, I like to have a little munchie before I go to bed (I didn’t get fat from eating salad), and the fact that there was only one left didn’t bode well. Niki’s hamster was working overtime too and she and I appeared to come to the same conclusion at the same time: HIDE THE EGGROLL! That way we could at least split it later thereby both getting a little snack before bed. Somewhat juvenile maybe, but otherwise a good plan right?

If you answered yes, shame on you; drunk people should never hide food. Especially not these drunk people. I have a bad memory on a good day. The eggroll was forgotten.
Next morning, Jill went to the cabinet to get a coffee cup and there was a rolled up napkin in the cabinet. She kindly carried it out to us (already at the pool). She didn’t actually say it, but I think she expected us to eat it. Ok, she did say it, but we didn’t eat it. SomeTHING however did, because we forgot about it again, this time outside, and the next day it was definitely gnawed on. Eww.

Moral of this story? If you’re going to hide food for later consumption, take it into your bedroom with you. Which brings me to my next story. One which I should be ridiculously embarrassed to repeat, but SOOOOOO many people have heard this story now, what’s one more. *sigh*

Let me set the scene: we’re grilling steaks and of course, drinking moderate amounts of alcohol. Some of Jill’s neighbors (and unwanted/uninvited/quarter needing family members) showed up. I was feeling a little shy (seriously, shut up) so I retreated to my room. When the steak was done, I carried it into my room with me. I was texting with the hubby and eating/drinking and I kinda got a little tired. I like to call it falling asleep, everyone else seems to think ‘passing out’ is more appropriate, but whatever you call it, I was out. Not for good though.

I woke up about 3 in the morning. I was ravenous. I remembered that I never finished my steak, which low and behold, was right next to me in the bed – taking up what would have been hubbies spot of course – and I had to decide if I would get sick eating a steak that had been sitting there for a few hours. It took me all of about a second and a half to decide. I reached over, in the dark mind you, and grabbed the steak. Screw the plate, fork or knife; I prefer to do it caveman style. I used my hands and tore apart that steak like the good little carnivore that I am.

When I woke up the next morning, I had devoured that steak. I then noticed that I had steak bits on my fingers and really had to think hard about getting up and washing them as opposed to licking my fingers clean. It was quite the internal struggle, but I washed.

Speaking of Jill’s pool. I spent nearly every waking moment in that pool. I miss it way more than I miss her. True story.
Anyway, they have this really cool robotic thing that cleans the pool. I would watch this thing for hours, it was like nothing I’d ever seen in my ghetto. It looks like this:

One thing you can’t see on this picture is that there is another hose attached to it that connects to the pool and allows it to travel pretty much the entire length of the pool to clean it. About the 2nd day there we named this fella Chester the Molester. It seemed whenever a female got in the pool, Chester was close by. He never bothered Rick, Jill’s hubby, just the females.
I’m now pregnant with Chester’s baby. Really, I’m registered at Target. This frickin thing would alternate between attempts at a sexual relationship with you to strangling you with the other hose. Quite a volatile relationship we had, I finally had to get a restraining order.
Now I miss him and I’m thinking about getting one for the tub.

There are also stories about a cat and a rat, but I don’t think they’ll be as funny in print. They’re what you might call “location humor” – you had to be there. However, I still have more stories. They include teenage girls, vomit and the border patrol. So hang tight for my next installment.

P.S. I’m supposed to also mention that I can’t hang with the big dogs. So there, I said it. Thought I’d get it out before Jill had to add her 2 cents. The bitch.

Mag-Pie!!! She doesn't like swimming. FYI.

The scene of the carnivorous crime aka my bedroom

A floating buffet. See? We ate!

Jill's back. Who knows? It's pretty though, right?

The one in which I beg for your forgiveness. Or for chocolate. I’m still unsure

2010-08-07T09:13:00.000-04:00

*steps into confessional*

Forgive me father for I have sinned. It’s been ……. an extremely long time since my last ~~confession~~ post. I fear we may be here a while. Grab the rosary (you’ll probably need it) and pull up a chair. No really go ahead…I’ll wait.

I’ve had a rather interesting past few months. We decided to move. Signed a lease on Thursday, moved on Saturday and I took an extended and impromptu trip on Monday. Leaving the poor husband to unpack and (*GASP) decorate alone. I shudder to think what it might have looked like when I returned if not for his feminine side. He did ok, (and what I disliked I immediately changed) but he did leave all the picture hanging to my discretion which was a good choice considering he hung the living room clock barely under the ceiling. I get a crick in my neck whenever I have to look up to check the time. It’s like sitting in the front row at the movie theatre. And yet, he doesn’t think it’s too high, so there it stays and I refuse to acknowledge its existence. I find myself wearing my watch 24/7 now.

Back to the impromptu trip since I’m sure you’re all just DYING to know where I went. My trip took me on an adventure. Most of it stuck in Atlanta where Mother Nature has a really bad attitude. She seriously needs Father Time to f**k the shit out of her one good time. A 5 hour flight, which included layovers, turned into 8 hours with delays. On the way back home the trip was 8 1/2 hours again thanks to Mother Nature in Atlanta. But I digress…

My destination was a little town I like to call Penis. Of course Jill doesn’t like that and tells me repeatedly that it’s Ennis (like Eh-niss), but Penis is funnier I don’t care who you are. The “Jill” in this story is none other than JillJillBoBill. I won’t bother linking that since she has NO intention of coming out of ~~hiding~~ retirement and posting ever again. Sorry, there wasn’t enough coconut rum, crown, wine or vodka in all the land to get her to say yes. And yes I tried. Now, before you all beat me up about this trip, it WAS impromptu. Meaning not really planned and very unexpected. A free week in Padre fell into the lap of a Texas friend and we all skinny dipped in the Gulf waters. Or fat dipped I guess, depending on your vision. I left my glasses behind in Texas…just sayin.

As you can imagine a week in Penis and a week in South Padre yielded some pretty interesting stories. Some I can retell, some not. The waivers haven’t all been signed yet. One thing I can tell you is when someone says ‘let’s swim nekkid in the pool’, she means it.

Stay tuned for the stories I can tell. They’re sure to be of interest, and maybe even humorous, to at least one of you.

There’s almost nowhere else to hide

2010-08-04T08:34:00.001-04:00

This is an actual FB conversation with Stress 1

Chris

Hello

Me

Shit...I thought I could get on and off before anyone saw me

Drats

Chris

Sneaky, but you underestimate my ability to track you down anywhere

Me

You also underestimate my ability to ignore you

Anytime

Anywhere

Now I’m worried that next time he can’t “get me” on the phone he may figure it out. We’ll see though because as smart as he is, he’s not very bright.

Housekeeping

2010-08-03T15:16:00.001-04:00

I have every intention of posting again. Sometime soon. I'm in the process of housekeeping (blog related and the real stuff) and I will put together something in the next week or so.

I realize I've probably already lost you all, but talking to myself has never worried me before. So if need be, I'll post AND comment. Possibly even have a catfight in the comment section...with myself...complete with hair pulling. I do so love my hair pulled.

Check back soon. Or not. As usual, the choice is yours.

Later! Or as they say in Texas...LATER! (what? everythings bigger in texas, right?)

The light at the end of the tunnel WASN'T a train...

2010-05-19T07:45:00.003-04:00

Program Summary

Program Name: Medical Transcriptionist

Lesson Average: 90

Total Lessons: 35

Total Completed: 35

That's right!! I'm D-U-N! Party at my house!!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-04-28T07:56:00.000-04:00

At first I was thinking thank God it's wordless Wednesday; then my mouth got into the discussion.

What in the world would make someone think this looks good? Or is matching your rim color to your pinstripe color all the rage now? I might have missed the memo.

Mads birthday pics

2010-04-12T10:30:00.003-04:00

So the birthday party was nice. Crazy, big cake. It's a Disney Princess castle in case you can't see that in the picture very clearly. She was tickled to death. But what she doesn't know is since today is her actual birthday, there's a personal sized cake waiting for her tonight. She was so upset she had "to go to school on my birthday!!" You're 8 now kid. Be lucky we don't make you get a job.

Princess Madeline

===========================================================

Then we went bowling. It was fun. I suck. But that's not supposed to matter, right? Mads and the kids had a good time and that's all that's important. Right?

This was one of her many, many gutter balls. She's a good sport though. She didn't mind at all.

This right here is the highlight of bowling. It's the best reason to go. Who could NOT love those shoes!?

====================================================

That's all for now. Gotta go get some housework done. I leave you with this. Enjoy!

Honey, unless you plan on stapling my eyes shut, there's no way I would miss this.

ahem Friday Fragments

2010-04-09T09:30:00.001-04:00

*slinking in through the back door*

Um...hi! Remember me? Probably not, it's been a while. I thought I would give you a little insight into what I've been up to since we last spoke er, since I last posted. Let's call this the "Lost" edition of Friday Fragments. (no I don't watch that stupid show. I only watch intellectual television like True Blood. Hey, it says "true" right in the title.)

I'm almost done metriculating. I'm on the last course, which is the actual "transcribing" portion of the medical transcriptionist program. There are a total of 20 cases to be transcribed. I finished the first 5 back in Feb and sent them in and let me just say...it's a good thing they give second chances cause I got a big ole whopping "F". Boy did that send me into a depression. The one most important aspect of this course and I can't do it? All I could think was I sure am glad I spent all that money for nothing. Turns out it was just a lack of paying attention on my part that was the culprit. I corrected a few things and resent them and got a 95. So now I'm waiting for a grade on the next 5 before I can send the last 10. All things go as planned and I can be D-U-N with school this summer. Next step is finding a job. Easy right? Riiiiiiiiight....
Still sticking to a mostly low fat diet. Haven't really lost anymore weight though. I guess I'm ok with that though as long as I don't GAIN any.
Still not being allowed to see Lorelai. I don't expect that to change though. Not until Lorelai is allowed to make up her own mind about such things. It's ok most of the time, but sometimes I get stuck in thinking about the fact that she's right here...so close...less than 10 miles from my house and I'm not allowed to be with her. This just makes me wish VERY bad things on here mama though and that's not a very productive road to go down so I try not to. Someday...
Stress 1 is still in the pokey. He says it's like a dorm where he is though and we see him every chance we get. He's expecting to go before the judge any day and also according to his Public Defender he'll probably just get probation since it's his first offense. So hopefully soon this whole debacle will be behind us all and we can move forward. Fingers crossed.
The Red Sox dropped 2 out of 3 to the Yankees last weekend. I know you don't care, I just wanted to see who's paying attention.
I'm on the wagon...however, if the Red Sox keep losing it'll be the perfect excuse to fall out and right on top of a vodka bottle. Just sayin
Mother continues to drop by unannounced. I really must get that key back from her. (seriously, I'm rereading these last few things and really wondering WHY I'm not drinking?!)
Birthday party this weekend for Maddie. She's gonna be 8. I think bowling is the activity of the day. Bowling, then cake and presents. I'll try with everything that is good and holy to remember to snap a few pictures. TRY.
I'm rejuvenating my master bath. YES, the same master bath I just finished. I had paint left over from my bedroom and entirely too much time on my hands. You do the math. This too will be photographed upon completion.

I can't think of much else to say. I'm gonna try to do better about blogging though. It's just so easy to say "Oh I'll blog tomorrow" and then tomorrow turns into another tomorrow and before you know it it's been months. I'm going to make a better effort though. I really do miss all my friends in the computer. Please come back. I'll make it worth your while...

Click here for more Friday Fragments. Certainly they'll be more interesting then mine was.

The other shoe has finally dropped

2010-02-09T20:00:00.002-05:00

It took a little over a year, but the other shoe has finally dropped.
Read here and here to catch up on this story.

After being pulled over for a traffic violation, the "missing" warrants from last year finally materialized and Chris is in jail.

I don't know when he'll see a judge.

I don't know if, or how much, bail will be necessary.

I don't know where I'll get the bail money.

His birthday is next week and it looks by all accounts that he may end up spending it in jail.

This will not be fun...

Sad News from Pilsbury

2010-02-08T13:30:00.001-05:00

A veteran Pilsbury spokesperson said that the Pilsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, Captain Crunch, Duncan Heinz, Chef Boyardee and many others. The graveside was piled high with flours as long time friend and confidant Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy.

She described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. She said he rose quickly in the business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half baked schemes.

Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a role model for millions and left his family with a lot of bread. Doughboy is survived by his second wife Play Dough. They have two children and a bun in the oven.

The funeral was at 3:50 for 20 minutes.

Well Done!

2010-02-08T08:48:00.000-05:00

Congratulations to the Saints and all their fans! It's your turn "Who Dat" Nation - enjoy it!

Not quite Wordless Wednesday

2010-01-27T08:56:00.000-05:00

I'm considering doing it again... unless one of you can talk me out of it... Quick!

An Update to the 7 Wonders...Seriously

2010-01-21T12:26:00.000-05:00

I just decided that meatloaf sandwiches are to be named one of the 7 Wonders of the World. The pyramid thingies are being bumped, they're just a bunch of triangles anyway. They don't compare to the taste of a leftover piece of meatloaf on toast with fat free cheese and fat free mayo. I don't care what you say, this is my blog. I would eat another one if it wasn't 8.5 fat grams.

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I'm in the home stretch with school. Working on my last course now so hopefully I'll be done by the end of February. Sometimes I'm just too lazy to work at it, but I think if I buckle down I can finish by then. Just hope I can find a job fairly quickly. This being broke thing is wearing on my nerves.

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The diet is going well. I hit the 20 pound mark, but I would still like to lose 5 more. I should probably exercise, but who the hell wants to do that?

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My bff Lissa and her kids moved in with us a few months ago and its going pretty well. For me, I like to have the kids around. I miss little ones and this helps me not think about Lorelai so much. I can't say how its working for Lissa though. I know from past experience its hard to live with someone when your raising a family. I try to just be there to help and not over step my boundaries, but you know inevitably, that happens.

I pick them up from school everyday, I don't work and this saves her paying for daycare, and I get to do homework with them in the afternoon. Again, that probably sounds weird to some of you, but I've found that I have a lot more patience for this stuff then I ever did when my kids were growing up.

I dont know how long they'll stay here, but it's been good for me. One more thing to keep me busy, but pretty good nonetheless.

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I got a surprise email from a bloggy friend recently (I'll not say who you are unless you say its ok) saying she was coming for a visit. I'm sure "surprise" was what she was going for by not telling me ahead of time, which is fine, but there have already been a few monkey wrenches I need to work out now that the tickets are already bought. No matter, I'll work em out cause I CANNOT wait to see her! The weekend of February 26th! It's toooooo far away dangit!! Get here faster!!

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Well I know this hasn't been much as far as a blog post goes, but with all the changes and things going on, I just don't have time for much else. I've been trying to check in on y'all and will continue to do so and hope you're all well. Once this school thing is done and I can settle into a job and a routine, I'm sure I can get to blogging more regularly again. I do miss all of you very much.

TTFN!!

It's not all business; there's been some pleasure

2010-01-14T08:50:00.001-05:00

WARNING: THIS POST MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR THOSE UNDER THE AGE OF 18.

I've been busy. Really, I have been, but that doesn't mean a girl doesn't find time to fit in some pleasure.

I tried out a new adult toy from Eden Fantasy. It was something I had never tried before. Mostly because I don't personally have a penis and it was a cock ring. But I asked the hubby if I could borrow his (with him still attached to it of course) and he was willing. Well, willing may be overstating it a bit. He was slightly uncomfortable with the idea at first, but he warmed to it. Ok, warmed to it may also be overstating it, but he didn't run screaming from the room. That's a start...

Here's what it looks like:

I think upon first look the hubby was er, unconvinced, that there was any way that was going to stretch like it's supposed to. But that's what I thought with my first born...I was wrong and so was he.

This adult toy is made of the softest material I have ever touched. It's described as a thermal plastic elastomer (mixture of PVC and silicone), and I don't know what all that means, but good gravy in the navy, it feels damn good.

It has a removable bullet which is attached to a remote control that takes 2 double A batteries. The power of the bullet is decent, but I would have preferred a slightly stronger vibration. That being said, it still makes me all tingly just thinking about it.

All in all, I think it's safe to say we both enjoyed this sex toy, I just think the hubby was a little uncomfortable being the "star of the show" and we may have to go back to vibrators.

Check out the site here. You're sure to find something for you and/or your partner from their ginormous inventory of adult toys.

Tis the Season!!

2009-12-25T00:01:00.001-05:00

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM MY FAMILY TO YOURS!

Do you see what I see.....?!?!

2009-12-16T11:58:00.000-05:00

My Secret Santa is the coolest, mostest wonderfulest, kindest and considerate person EVER! Oh, my gift came - hehehehe... The box was awaiting me on my front doorstep when I got home from my merry travels of the day. I opened it and this is what I found.

Shut your mouth!!! Almond Joys!!! Again - 2nd year running!!! Someone really likes me. And tell me that little jar isn't the cutest thing you've ever seen and I'll tell you your lying. It's a-freakin-dorable!

There are 3 people currently residing in this house who have their eyes on this hand decorated Boston Red Sox ornament. They will have to pry it from my dead fingers. FYI.

This is the cutest decoration and this is the point in the gift unveiling that I decided my SS was Martha Stewart. I didn't know she was participating this year, but lucky me, I GOT HER! You can't see all the things hanging from it but there is the bat, glove and around the other side are a baseball and baseball hat - with a lil "B" emblem on it. This will adorn my tree for many years. And after Christmas, it's not gettin packed away like traditional ornaments do - OH NO - it's gonna find a resting place somewhere on my bookshelf with my other Boston paraphenalia (sp?).

Next up, this cool top from Forever 21. And guess what? Just because it's December doesn't mean I can't wear this. I did. Two days ago. We've had 70's here. I aint complainin. Love this shirt, even if I'm a LOOOOONG way from 21.

No one, and I mean NO ONE, knows this about me, but I love coasters. I have several different sets all over the house. For real. No one uses them, but that's another battle for another day. These are currently residing in my living room. Nice, yes?

There was also a card, a sweet card, but in no way could it help me you guys to determine who my SS really is so I'll not post it here. My super duper sleuthing abilities have let me down this year. I do not know who you are secret santa. AmyBo was easy to guess last year, she's not very clandestine. But you my really, really Secret Santa? You'll remain a mystery unless you come forward. Otherwise I will never know (good job too, because it's hard to keep secrets from me :) Thank you for all my great gifts SS - whoever you are - I love ya!!

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Maddy had a Christmas concert at school last night. I just wanted to post a few pics of the kids. They were all so cute, even if half of them cried the entire time. It was almost like they were being tortured or poked with a big stick behind the scenes or something.

Maddy before the show. See! Told you it's been warm, she didn't even need a jacket!

What can I say about Joseph and Mary? There were a few times Mary looked pissed, but then I guess she remembered she gave birth to "Jesus" for heaven's sakes and she snapped out of it.

And of all the crappy pictures I've ever taken, this one beats all. That's Mads, back row center. I swear it is. It was really dark and OF COURSE they stuck her in the back row! Anyway, she did - they all did - a great job. And just in time for the show, Maddy realized it says "Deck the Halls with boughs of holly" instead of "Deck the Halls with Polly Lolly". Not sure what Polly Lolly is, but that's the way she's been singing it for weeks. Cracked me up.

Hope everyone else is having a great holiday season. I know I am. Thanks again SS.

Happy Holidays All!!!

Review: Direct TV

2009-12-16T09:00:00.001-05:00

Do you ever feel like your being held hostage by your cable or satellite provider? I'm having such issues with my cable provider right now, an email I received about Directv couldn't have come at a better time.

Do you know if Direct TV is a better fit for your family than cable? Well, your about to thank me. I have a great internet resource for helping you to find what will better suit your needs. They allow you to pick and choose what features you want, or need, to make your TV viewing pleasurable for the entire family.

You can choose between features such as Sports Channels, HD Channels or maybe you want to be sure you have a DVR. Once you select the options you're interested in, you simply call the number listed and order what package works best for you and your family.

If your interested in learing more about this site, or who in your area can provide you with services such as DirectTV, click any one of the links to get more information.

Begin at the beginning

2009-12-01T11:18:00.000-05:00

Since we last spoke Thanksgiving, Black Friday and a birthday have transpired. Let's start with Thanksgiving.
I love, luv, lurve, love this time of year. I was having a turkey dinner at my house this year with just me, hubby and my mom. Then Chris - the oldest - said he had no plans so I ~~gritted my teeth and told him to eat with us~~ lovingly extended a warm invitation to dinner at the house. Next thing I know, Drew's wife has to work and he has nowhere to go, no worries, come on over. So I was actually kinda excited to be having a nice dinner with my immediate family.
Hubby and his brother as well as our two boys - Mike and mine not his brother and me, we don't have any children together, that I know of - anyway, they were golfing Thanksgiving morning and that left me alone to cook. In my 43 years I have NEVER done an entire dinner ALONE. I was a little nervous, but I knew mom would come over early if I needed help. Then an hour before she was supposed to come over, she she calls and says she isn't coming. Her knee hurt and she didn't feel like walking. I told her it was a good thing she was driving over then, but she didn't think that was funny. She just flat out didn't want to come. Lam-o! I cried. She was the ONLY reason I was having a dinner at home to begin with. I had invitations to go elsewhere, but I thought it would be nice, intimate even, to be just the 3 of us. I stopped crying and told myself I had a dinner to finish up. When the guys came back from golf, we had what I can only call my best Thanksgiving ever. It was the coolest to have my 2 boys all to myself. No girlfriends, wives or significant others around. Not that I don't like the girlfriend and the wife, it was just nice to be just us. That hasn't happened in years.
We chatted. A lot. Which was also cool. Here's one conversation:
Me: Drew what do you want for Christmas.
Drew: I don't need anything at all mom.
Me: I didn't say need, I said want.
Drew: There's not one thing I want or need. Promise.
Me: Ok then - Chris, what about you?
*Chris cuts his eyes at Drew and says*
Chris: Thanks! Now if I ask for something I look greedy!!
LMAO! I truly am blessed and this was a day I wont soon forget.

Next up, Black Friday. I stayed in. The End.

Next...
Went to Drew's (Stress 2) house last night. Yesterday was his birthday and his wife cooked dinner. The food was delish and the boys all played Madden on the Wii while I fell asleep on the couch. *sigh* Nothing bores me more than Madden on the Wii - except maybe watching C-Span. But who really watches C-Span? Good food and good company - good God was I tired when I got home.

This past weekend we put up our tree. I like being at this age, this one RIGHT NOW. Patient enough that you have no issues with letting the 7 and 9 year old decorate the tree. Who cares if all the ornaments are in one place? Not me. The back of my tree is bald, I don't care. It's makes me happy to watch them come in from school and smile at their handi-work. Try it if you can. There's something wonderful about looking at Christmas through a childs eyes. Did I mention that I LOVE this time of year?!?!

Yes, I know I take crappy pictures.

I threw that one in at no extra charge. Your welcome.

I sent my SSS partner his/her gift today!! Can't wait till it arrives!!

Catsup, Ketchup, Catch Up

2009-11-17T11:16:00.000-05:00

Story of my life. Catch up. I thought I better come on here in case there was a certain someone (HI SSS exchange partners!!!) lurking. In case the poor individual who got me doesn't know me (in which case, I'm sooooooo sorry you got me), I thought I would help out.

I'm a wise ass 43 year old mother of two grown boys, 24 and 22, and married for 25 years this past September. Yes, to the same man. Poor soul.

I think I may just have rewritten my bio for this blog. Mental note: Update bio.

If you ~~were saddled with me~~ lucky enough to have received my name, I'm very low maintenance. Shut up Georgie and AmyBo.
Anything I receive will be met with the same enthusiasm I show my vodka bottle. And if it happens to be a vodka bottle, all the better.

Seriously, I love this time of year and I feel awful that I just don't have the time to post more often.
I hope all of you are well. I miss my bloggy buddies. I'm going to TRYto get around this week and visit y'all.
I really need to stop apologizing for being busy. Busy is good, right?

Ok back to the books. Just wanted to stop by and let y'all now that YES VIRGINIA, THERE IS A SANTA CLAUS - and that I'm alive. Hugs and kisses - love y'all!!

Review: Diesel is more than just a gas

2009-11-12T08:00:00.000-05:00

I don't know about the rest of you, but I've never been much of a "brand" person. I wear what I wear, or use the brand I use, because I like it. I don't know much about designer names, so I had never heard of Diesel brand.

This site has a large variety of Diesel brand underwear. You can find men's underwear and tops as well as women's panties, tops and bras. I've checked out several of them and I really like this top, and this one too. My only issue is that they have a higher price tag than I would like to pay.

If you like the Diesel brand you really should check out this site. They have lots of great items to choose from so I'm sure you'll find something for that special someone, or something just for you. Or for me...it is all about giving after all.

Almost Wordless Wednesday

2009-10-28T08:31:00.000-04:00

"A little candy for the house...a little candy for me..."

WAT-AAH! Challenge

2009-10-25T08:00:00.000-04:00

The fine folks over at WAT-AAH! had a challenge. I believe they do this every year in an effort to get our youth drinking more water and less sugar filled drinks.

I asked to participate in the challenge, they obliged and here are the results.

I kept both kids seperate during the challenge, not wanting one's choice to influence the other.

First up, Jacob. He's 8 and loves his soft drinks.

If you notice in the video, in between his giggles - he's sooooo shy, he really stared at thatWAT-AAH! bottle. Over and over again. I could tell he wanted it more than the coke he picked and that confused me, but I waited till after Maddie took her challenge to talk him about it.

Different child, same reaction. Every thing about her body language was screaming "PICK THE WAT-AAH!", but she too went with the more familair 'coke'.

Once the camera was off and they were no longer so self-conscious of being video taped, we asked them why they chose the soft drink, when clearly they were at least interested in the WAT-AAH!?

They both responded that they were unsure of what it was and it seemed they were afraid of something different.

We explained to them both what it was - ultra pure and clean water with a little something extra for their bones, energy, brain and body. They looked over at the choices again, clearly not afraid anymore, so I gave them a do-over. Here are their results.

They sat down with their WAT-AAH! and did homework. No doubt with clearer minds then if they had been fueled by the sugary drink they almost had.

They loved it and drank it all! Good job WAT-AAH! We gave it two-thumbs up

Stop the world, I want to get off

2009-10-21T12:13:00.000-04:00

"I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date!!!"

Not really, but I feel like everything is rushed these days so I'm taking a minute to give a few updates.

I know I haven't been leaving any comments lately, mostly because I read your blogs through my Crackberry and it's a huge PITA to leave comments that way. But I am reading. I know Sunny's doing well with "A" and "B" - Tiff has her Halloween decorating in high gear - Julie does NOT have a pumpkin ass - Georgie never hung he moon - and Donna is NOT a vampire and the garlic did not kill her (WHEW!) to name a few. I am reading. Promise. There's just not enough hours in the day. I think yesterday was the first day I had gotten on FB in over a month. I still love y'all and do my best to keep up with your lives - even if it's not evident.
School is moving along nicely. I have two - no make that three - more courses to get through. Then I can try my hand at being a big girl and getting a 'real' job. I'm still holding a 93 average and not disappointed with that at all.
Some time ago, I purchased the "Scrubbing Bubbles" shower cleaner thingie. Looks like this:

I lurve this invention. It really helps keep the whole shower clean and limits the scrubbing MY lazy ass has to do. Anyone who uses it knows that once you press the button, it beeps and gives you oh, 10 or so seconds to clear out before it starts spraying the cleaner. SIDE NOTE: DID ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THE WARNING ON THE BOTTLE THAT SAYS "NOT TO BE USED AS A BODY WASH"? YOU KNOW SOME IDIOT MUST HAVE DONE THAT FOR THAT WARNING TO BE PUT ON THERE. Anyway, Hubby wanted to try it out one day. Poor pea-brained, sweet, lovable hubby. He presses the button and stands there - just outside the shower door - evidently not thinking about the fact that this is going to rotate and spray EVERYWHERE. doo-dee-doo-dee-doo. He stands there......watching it. Till it rotatates around and sprays him in his eyes. D'OH!

At least he did try his hand at cleaning though.

And his eyes have NO mold or mildew on them.

Driving in the car the other day with Lissa and the two youngest (Mads-7 and Jacob-8) and they were being as good as gold, drawing on notebooks in the backseat. Then Mads said "I'm gonna draw Jacob". Her rendition of Jacob wasn't terribly favorable - he had big red lips for one, but then she starts giggling like crazy and says "Look Jacob! I drew you 'nipples'!" What the what!!!! First stop we came to we asked to see the pic - trying not to make to much of a deal of it. She says "Look! Nipples on his cheeks!" Laughing her ass off. When we saw the picture we realized she had drawn "dimples" and was just confused as to what they were called. So although he has BIG RED LIPS, he does NOT have nipples on his cheeks for which he is grateful.
I can't believe Christmas is right around the corner. I love this time of year. I can't wait till the SSS gets moving and I can start shopping for my partner. Did I mention I love this time of year?!?!?! I'm a giver, what can I say?
The weight loss is still going well. I thought after being at Jill's I would have gained back some of the 10.5 I'd lost, but it's not like she fed me or anything so - nope. I'm down 13 as of last weigh in. My next goal is in 7 more pounds.

That's all I have for now. I hope everyone has a great day!!!

The "Lost" Girls Weekend

2009-10-08T12:50:00.000-04:00

I call it "lost" because it was supposed to be a weekend with several bloggers meeting up at Jill's house, but I think they all got lost cause I was the only one who showed up.

Seriously, everyone had reasons (such as Jules - she was totally dying - when we talked to her on the phone, she sounded like a mix of Brenda Vacarro and Kathleen Turner - only sexier) for not being able to come. I just wished they could have been there. It would have been great to not be saddled with Jill all by myself for the whole weekend. I was looking forward to someone else tending to her. She's terribly high-maintenance. Just so you know.

3 planes and 7+ hours and I'm finally here. None the worse for wear, but man was I hungry.

Turns out "hunger" would be a recurring theme this weekend. Jill barely fed me. There were days I only ate 2 times. Who eats 2 meals a day?? My stomach thought I was mad at it. I was glad I brought food with me. I sometimes ate it in my bedroom late at night. While the house was asleep. Shhh. Sorry, but a fat girls gotta eat.

That's my favorite picture of Jill. It's my favorite because we were EATING (seriously, I can count the meals on one hand)!!! Greek omelets! With 'real' eggs! I hadn't had real eggs in 2 months. This was totally the highlight of my trip.

At least it was up till that point.

That was Friday morning and I had just gotten there Thursday evening.

Then Jill asked me if I wanted to go to a little bar in the town she works in.

Italy.

Yep, Italy, Texas. I've been to Italy.
Shut it!

Here's a sampling of Kountry Nites in Italy, Texas. (sorry for the video quality - but it's the audio that makes the video anyway)

This bar is my new favorite place to be. We most certainly did NOT go there every.single.night I was in Texas. Nope. That's all I'm allowed to say.

Me and Jill. Why yes Jill, you do look like a linebacker. I can say that. I'm too far away for her to beat my ass.

Oh and pay no attention to the BURN on my forehead. Or my 3 chins. The camera adds 10 pounds you know.

Pool tables and alcohol. What more could a redneck chick ask for? Wel, a cowboy would have been nice. But whatever.

This little fella got carded. He was only two. He had to stick with Dr. Pepper. Much like Niki (*snicker snicker*).

As you can see, there weren't a lot of pictures. Jill didn't take any. That I know of.

But in her defense, it's hard to take pictures when you constantly have a ciggy in one hand and a Bud Light in the other.

Before I knew it, it was time to come back home. I was sad. Like crying sad.

Jill dropped me off at the airport at ... I honestly don't remember what time it was because what happened next was like something out of a bad movie.

They had NO return flight for me. NO.WAY.OUT. A Sign? Maybe. Freak out much? Definitely.

I barely made a flight, which by the way, while I was at the check in counter, I heard them tell the guy standing next to me that he was on the TSA WATCH LIST!!!!!!!!!!!

What the what?!?!?!

All I could think was PLEASE do not let him be on my flight. Please. Please...

I ran like a mofo (ala OJ Simpson in the old Hertz commercials - you know, before he went all psycho and shit) jumping luggage and running around people to make it to the gate. I think I may have heard a few people cheering me on. I know I heard at least one "Run Forest, Run!" scream. Once I made it there, I breathed. HARD. I needed some oxygen.

As I start to board the plane, the flight crew is standing there - which is normal - but a couple said "oh look, she made it". *sigh* Sorry the plane had to wait for me, but it was NOT.my.fault! I had an email!!!! I had a return itinerary!! Dammit!

I got seated and looked around. The 'watch list' guy wasn't on my flight. *whew*

Then again neither was my luggage. They didn't have time to get it on the plane, so it took another flight. There was something sad about thinking that my poor baggage was all alone. Traveling so far from home without me.

Then I remembered 'watch list' guy. Please, oh please, don't let my luggage be on his plane. That luggage contained all my undies! And my new "Kountry Nites" t-shirt.

Turns out my luggage was ok. And it made it home before me.

After 3 planes, countless delays and 11 (YES 11!!) hours - I made it home.

Alls well that ends well.

I guess.

I miss all my new friends though. So much.

There was tons of laughing. Soooo much laughing. My stomach muscles hurt. And story telling? Jill can tell some stories now. If you read her blog (when she POSTS!!) you already know she's a great story teller, but lord-have-mercy-on-my-poor-soul is she fucking funny. And gorgeous. And exactly who I thought she would be. No by products - no fillers. Just 100% Jill.

After 24 hours, I told her I felt like I'd known her my entire life. We may have even finished a few of the others sentences. Definite best friend material.

And for all of you out there, wondering when or IF she will ever post again... stay tuned. I'm pretty sure we may be in for a comeback. If not, I'll fly back out there and kick her ass. M'kay?

I had a fantastic time. I think Jill did too. At least I hope so. It's a visit I hope to make again. Soon.

I could live here. If I had a job. And a place to live.

2009-09-24T10:05:00.000-04:00

Hubby and I went to Baltimore last weekend. We had the best time. We stayed in the Inner Harbor area and there was so much to see and do. I walked so much my feet still hurt.

First some sights:

There's no denying it's a gorgeous area. I had heard so much "be careful, it's dangerous, especially at night" that I was a little worried. There is a high presence of homeless at night, but we stayed at the hotel when it got dark.

I went on a ship for the first time.

This was pretty cool. I loved touring this old ship. I wont bore you with all the pictures though.

Then Mike saw this submarine and wanted to go on it.

Not a fan of small places containing lots of people (can you tell by the look on my face in this picture?), I really did NOT want to go down into this 'tube of death'. I did. Then I couldn't wait to get out.

Then I got to meet TrueHeartGirl. This was one of the highlights of my trip.

I had really been looking forward to this, but I don't think she had as good a time as I had hoped. I messed up when I told her the seating arrangements at the ball park, so that meant we didn't sit together either of the 2 games we went to.

Sorry D. I hope you still love me.

The games were awesome. Red Sox took all 3 (shame they couldn't keep that winning streak going when they LEFT Baltimore - *sigh)

All in all, it was a great trip. We're already discussing going again next year.

Thank you Baltimorians (?) for all your hospitality. We'll be back again next year to give you all our money. Again.

Oh, and Baltimore? If you found my shampoo, can you send it back to me? I really need to wash my hair. Thanks so much.

The Song Remembers When

2009-09-14T13:20:00.000-04:00

I saw a writing prompt the other day. It was something like name 3 songs that remind you of a specific person in your life. I thought this would be interesting to write about, but I'm gonna add a little of my own flare to it.

3 songs that remind me of a certain person, place or time in my life.

The first one came to me instantly. Always and Forever by Heatwave. You guys and gals out there from my era may remember this as fondly as I do. This was a song that was ALWAYS played as the final song at every dance I went to as a teenager. Hearing it (which isn't very often these days) always makes me think of those carefree days when I would hang out at the Boys and Girls club down in Olneyville. That place was my home away from home. It's where I met my first boyfriend - Troy H. I was gonna marry him. Until I cheated on him with his best friend. It was just a kiss, but it still ended our 'relationship'. I He was devastated. I can't help it, I'm hot.

While that first song reminds me of a person, place AND time in my life, this next just reminds me more of a time.
It was 1990 and I had just been through the worst year of my life. Both my boys had had life threatening issues that put them in the hospital. Chris (then 5) in October of that year and Drew (then 3) in December. With Drew, he had been in the hospital for weeks. I had taken a leave of absence from work because the hospital he was in was about 3 hours from where we lived, and I stayed with him for the entire stay. (*As a side note - The Ronald McDonald Houses ROCK! Donate if you can.*) When he was able to come home, we were still together every day for a few weeks as he was still recuperating. The day I went back to work for the first time, this song was on the radio. What Do I Do With Me by Tanya Tucker. While the words are of a lost love, I felt them just as hard as if they were written for me. I wasn't sure how I would make it through the day being away from him - and I cried on that drive to work for several days in a row. When I hear that song, it evokes such strong and difficult memories of those few months.

The next song reminds me of a more happy time. It's When I Said I Do by Clint Black and Lisa Hartman Black. This was the song Mike and I danced to at our 15 year wedding vow renewal party. It was a special day, one that through the years I wasn't sure we would get to. When I look back and see how far we've come - we've just celebrated our 25th anniversary - I count my blessings. And when I do look back, this song is always the soundtrack.

Now it's your turn. Tell me your 3 songs and who or what they remind you of when you hear them. You can tell me in the comment section, but I'd rather you make this a post of your own. If you do, please sign Mr. Linky and let me know. I look forward to walking down memory lane with you - with your songs playing the soundtrack for your memories.

Review Direct TV

2009-09-14T07:10:00.000-04:00

Do you ever feel like your being held hostage by your cable or satellite provider? I'm having such issues with my cable provider right now, an email I received about Directv couldn't have come at a better time.

Do you know if Direct TV is a better fit for your family than cable? Well, your about to thank me. I have a great internet resource for helping you to find what will better suit your needs. They allow you to pick and choose what features you want, or need, to make your TV viewing pleasurable for the entire family.
You can choose between features such as Sports Channels, HD Channels or maybe you want to be sure you have a DVR. Once you select the options you're interested in, you simply call the number listed and order what package works best for you and your family.

If your interested in learing more about this site, or who in your area can provide you with services such as DirectTV, click any one of the links to get more information.

Recycling

2009-09-11T11:44:00.001-04:00

I'm recycling an old post that a few of you may have read. It's from WAAAAAY back in the day. If you've read it move on, if not - continue on.

The Honeymoon Is Over (originally posted in June 08)

No, not between the hubby and I. That's not what this post is about.
Although...
last night I climbed in the bed with my tiger print Victoria Secret bra and panty on and ... nothing.
Huh?
I laid there for a minute and then I said, "You know I am soooo going to leave you when I get the hookup with Jason Varitek".
He said, "OK. Can you get me an autograph before you go"?
Whatever dude.

I am referring to the "honeymoon" period that comes with any new membership. A health club, cell phone company, DVD's delivered to your home company. Any of them.

The wooing begins when they want you to join. Oh, we'll give you 1 month free or 10 free movies. They keep on till you break. Oh, sure it sounds great and it usually is. For a while.

Take me with the Net.flix people. I have been with them for @ 5 years now and when I first started they gave me oodles of free movies. Also I could return something on Monday, they would show it received on Tuesday and I would receive my next movie(s) on Wednesday. I was never long without a movie to watch. Now I can return a movie on Monday. It may be Wednesday or Thursday before they note it as received. Then another day or two before I get the next sent to me. I can go a whole week with no movies. How did that happen? My address hasn't changed - neither has theirs.

And the cell phone companies. You can get the ubber coolest phones for free with a "NEW" membership. That same phone for someone who already is a member can be hundreds of dollars.

Why do they work so hard to GET new customers and do so little to RETAIN the ones they have? Does there come a point where it will stop - they will say, "OK we have enough customers, now lets get back to taking care of them." Or will they always be chasing the next customer and leaving the long time loyal ones behind?

*end rant*

I'm a giver.

2009-09-09T14:49:00.000-04:00

One of our local TV stations, in conjunction with The American Red Cross, hosted a blood drive today and some of you may know that I donated. (I tried to twitter/facebook the entire thing, but they were killing me and I was unable to figure a way to take pics and type with both arms tied down)

It wasn't my first time, I give blood whenever I can. I used to have problems with my iron being low. I haven't had any issues with that recently, but I always worry when they do the finger stick. I feel bad when I can't give.

That being said, the finger prick was the easiest part of my blood giving experience.

The place was packed when I got there, but I had a scheduled appointment so I knew it wouldn't take too long.

I got my finger pricked and my iron was good - actually she said my iron was AWESOME! I love that. My blood is AWESOME!

So, I get my paperwork and go sit in my lounge chair (little did I know, in a few short minutes I would be BEGGING for an alcoholic beverage - with or without an umbrella) and wait. They decide to try the left arm first. 3 pokes and 2 employees later (with my face reading something akin to OH MY HOLY HELL STOP USING ME AS A FUCKING PIN CUSHION), they decide to try the right arm...

At this point, the news lady asked if she could ask me a few things - you know, for the news segment they were taping. I may, or may not, have kicked her in her fucking mouth. She was short - I could have reached her perfectly.
I likely had tears running down my face, 3 employees hovering over me with worried looks on their faces, and a vomit bag at my side and you want to ask me questions NOW?!?! Seriously?!?!

The left arm was taped off, much like the crime scene it represented, and they began their work on the other. Let me say now, I thank God above I don't have more than two arms. Because OH MY HOLY HELL!! At this point, I realized they were trying to kill me. I had to get out of this place or at least die trying.

After one attempted prick of that arm, they call in the Big Guns. The Big Guns in this case will forever be known to me as MY SAVIOR.

He's a large man, I noticed that immediately as he came to me from out of the mist. The halo encircling his head reminded me of a Botecelli angel. Ok, maybe there wasn't mist or a halo, but my eyes were watering and I may have been hallucinating a bit from the 'discomfort'.

I recognized him from the last time I gave blood. His name is Elijah. Elijah my savior.

Once he started talking (he has a sort of Carribean accent), I remembered he was the fellow who drew my blood last time also.

Once the blood started flowing, the whole thing was over in about 5 minutes. I got a t-shirt and a snack for my pain.

I do LURVE this shirt.

Honestly, the reason I give blood is not to help people. It's for the food and the cool shirt. (ok, not really - don't beat me up over that)

It's not YOU I'm flipping off here. My finger from where they pricked me is already bruised.

Who wants to place bets on how BADLY the ~~pin cushions~~ arms will bruise. They're already showing signs of distress, as am I.

As much as I hate to say it - this has left me terrified to think of giving blood again.

Worrying about the iron level being too low is nothing compared to worrying about how many times I'm gonna be stuck and restuck - how many times they're gonna wiggle the needle around under my skin trying to find that vein - will this time indeed be the time I throw up from the 'discomfort' of the needle being moved in and out and rolled all around. I came close this time - and I mean "big, red Bio-Hazard bag by my side" close. This was rough. I just don't think I can do it again.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see what time brings. I know one thing for certain though, if I do donate again, I'll walk in the doors screaming "Where's ELIJAH?!?! I need ELIJAH!!"

Disclaimer: I am in no way advising against donating blood. I have donated for many years and never had this type of problem. I think if you can give blood, you should. I'm just not so sure I can anymore.

Don't call it a COMEBACK!

2009-09-03T11:38:00.000-04:00

My buddy Tentcamper, who blogs here and here, has awarded me with something akin to being the centerfold in this months Play.boy. Of course, there would be MUCH airbrushing done to that picture, but whatever.

He's a contributor to a blog called hotdads (he's also one of the select Hot Dad's on their list and I SOOOOO agree with that choice) and he told me that I (lil ole me) have been selected to be a new member of their Hot Mama's list!

When I first read the email I was all like, "SHUT UP!!!" No really, I was.
Then I laughed cause I was sure it was a joke.

Nope... no joke! I'm a Hot Mama!!

I knew all those times I flashed the Internets my boobies would pay off someday!

Just imagine though...ME...a "hand selected" hot mama. Unfortunately, I didn't *feel* the hand selection process at all. *sigh*

=================================================

In other news:

School sucks and I wish I never started it. Ok, not really, but I wish I was done.
Mom has decided she doesn't need to go back to the docs for any more follow up treatments or appts. I wish I had known a long time ago that she had a medical degree. I could have saved a fortune on doctors bills. But, as she so *sweetly* (sarcastic much?) points out to me whenever she gets the chance...It's her life. I'm out.
I'm still technically unemployed, although not collecting because I've been unemployed too long to collect anymore. Um...WTF?!?! So for the last few months, I've been working a couple days a week for my "boss", kinda under-the-table, COD - if you know what I mean. *wink wink* I'm not making nearly my regular paycheck this way, but it's something and lord knows if I had to find another job, as diffifcult as that would be in this economy, it would also be ridiculously hard to find the time for school at all then. So I continue on in this vein, hoping that either work picks up real quick like, or I finish school and can find work in my field.
In 2 short weeks from tomorrow, I'll be watching my Red Sox play Baltimore, in Baltimore (never been - can you say EXCITED?) and having my very first meet and greet with a bloggy buddy. I won't say who here, in case she doesn't want everyone to know...but she gave me a freakin AWESOME birthday gift too! LOVE HER!
In 27 short days I will be "leavin on a jet plane" to yet another meet and greet. A girls weekend in Texas with several bloggy buddies. There are no words to express how much I'm looking forward to this. And have been for almost a year now.
A few weeks ago, on FB, I eluded to the fact that I thought something "BIG" was up. I didn't give much detail at the time, because I wasn't sure and I didn't want to look stupid. That, my friends, is a full time job for me. Not looking stupid. So I now have all the confirmation I need. Ready?

Lorelai.

Back in SC.

No longer in Oklahoma.

You getting this?

LORELAI IS BACK IN SOUTH CAROLINA!!

Seems there was a split of sorts. Don't know all the details and don't care to. Just happy she's back in the same time zone and I've been leaving messages (phone and FB) to try to arrange a visit. No luck yet, but you all know me well enough to think I'm giving up. It will be an uphill battle though, this I know. My last communication with "F" wasn't, shall we say, nice. No siree bob, not nice at all. I'm trying to mend fences so fast and hard my hands are bleeding. I'll keep y'all posted.

I'm heading out to try to read a few blogs. I'm gonna try to leave a comment on EVERY one. Does "hi" qualify as a comment?

That's all I got for now! Be sure to go visit all those HOT DADS and HOT MAMAS here. We're all attention whores.

Happy, Happy Birthday Baby ...

2009-08-12T15:00:00.000-04:00

Another year has come and gone, but no matter how far away from me you are in distance, you are NEVER far away from my heart. Today is your 4th, and the second one I will miss. I love you Lorelai, you are my heart.

THE BIGGEST AND BEST HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVER FOR MY LIL PRINCESS!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LORELAI!!! NANI LOVES YOU!!!!!

Wordy Wednesday

2009-08-12T08:08:00.000-04:00

(Ignore the mess and the fingerprints ALL.OVER.THE.WATER.DISPENSER...)

Coffee Pot

Water Dispenser

You cannot get coffee from the water dispenser.

Your welcome.

The One in Which I regain my title of Daughter of the Year

2009-07-23T12:27:00.001-04:00

Mom’s better. Me, on the other hand…

The doctor told her once she felt like she didn’t need the pain meds anymore, she could regain her normal life with the exception of not lifting anything over 10 pounds. I must have told her this eleventytwo million times. She stopped taking the pills Tuesday. So she is at home and can drive herself anywhere she would like. I stop by there when I get off work, call and check on her – you know, all the good daughter stuff. And yet…

Mom’s better. She’s back to thinking no one cares about her (the days I spent cleaning her vomit and holding her hand 24/7 long forgotten – but that’s ok). Back on her woe is me pity potty. Back in the they should have just let me die that Sunday mode. Which naturally causes me to speak in a harsher tone than I intend, but I can’t stand to listen to it anymore.

So almost 2 weeks after the day I was convinced I was going to have to learn how to tell my mother good-bye… I’m back to complaining about her. The only way I can make myself feel better about this is this:

We all complain. About something. About nothing. We need to vent to someone – somewhere. I’m just grateful I have her around to complain about. And you all to listen.

Whoever I let borrow the vodka needs to give it back now. Thank you.

And thank you again

2009-07-21T16:40:00.000-04:00

OK. Thanks all of you for being so patient. I know it has taken me forever to come back on here, but I'm here. I'm going to short hand the rest of the story though.

Monday they did the embolization, but they could not place the drain to get all the blood out around the kidney. They said too much was in the capsule (I believe they called it) of the kidney and they were afraid they would damage the kidney. The one thing they were trying to avoid. Their plan then shifted to allowing the blood to reabsorb into her system. This may take a while, and she may be uncomfortable for a while, but that's the plan.

After the procedure - which went well - she was still having 'off ' blood count issues. So more transfusions. Then fluid on the lungs, but at the time they were thinking she had thrown a clot. They ended up giving her something for that and it began with an "L". I don't remember the name though. Not that that matters. This was Tuesday - and it was a BAD day. She was beligerent with me. Just downright hateful. Yelling at me and telling me to get away and leave her alone, it was her life. The docs insisted it was the meds she was taking, but it was hard to be yelled at by the person who's side I hadn't left for days. So the nurses told me to leave for a bit, since I was crying so hard they couldn't understand what I was saying anyway (lol). I did and in about an hour and a half I came back. I was better, but she wasnt. She was still fighting me on everything. She wouldn't leave on her oxygen, she wouldn't take deep breaths. Just nothing she was supposed to do. Once the meds ran their course though, the next day, she was back to herself. Just a little more whiney from the all over pain.

She's home now. Recuperating. She stayed with me for a few days, but she wanted to go back to her apt. and resume as much of her life as she could. I was not gonna tell her no because I wanted to get back to as normal as possible too.

I have to take her back and forth for a few more procedures, all of which they are hoping can be outpatient. Fingers crossed. That's pretty much where things are now.

I can't thank you all enough for all the kind words, prayers and good thoughts. Your all the best in my book.

Thank You

2009-07-17T11:41:00.000-04:00

Last Sunday morning (July 12th) started like any other. I woke up, walked out to the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast and Liss and I discussed going to the beach again that morning. As I walked over to the kitchen table, I saw my cell phone and remembered I had left it there all night and it must have a dead battery. I picked it up and hit the button as I walked towards the bedroom to put it on the charger when I saw my mom had called. At 5:40 in the morning.

Anyone knows when someone calls that early, something wrong. I tried to dial her, but got no answer. I kept trying, unsuccessfully, to reach her for about 15 minutes before I grabbed my keys and headed to her apartment. I couldn't think of any 'good' reason why she wasn't answering so I was beginning to get freaked out.

I got to her house and she wasn't there. At this point I'm in total panic mode and I then find out that the ambulance picked her up about 45 minutes earlier to take her to the hospital. (She called them when she couldn't reach me - gut-wrenching guilt anyone?)

I do not remember the drive to the hospital.

When I got there and saw her, I knew instantly that it was bad. Then the doctors came in and confirmed that for me. They told me she had a tumor on her left kidney (big enough that it covered all but a sliver of the kidney itself) that had began to bleed out and they were going to have to begin transfusions to try to stabilize her. If they could stabilize her, then they needed to get in and take out the mass and probably the tumor. If they could stabilize her. They made it clear to me that she was critical and might not make it through the next few hours.

Other than that... (insert laugh track here) they also couldn't find a doctor here that would touch her. They all said the mass and bleed (hematoma) were too big (they told me later the surrounding bleed was the size of a football) for them to be comfortable working on at the local hospital. So their main focus was to try to transfuse and stabilize her as much as they could, then transfer her to MUSC in Charleston, SC.

About 3:00 on Sunday afternoon, they felt they had stabilized her as well as they could, and they had her taken to MUSC. I followed behind after grabbing a few things from the house. I got there about an hour after the ambulance had and the nurses on her floor had her pretty comfortable (Hydrocodone-Morphine drip on a PCA - niiiiiice). Then a doctor on her 'team' of doctors started telling me about the options. Huh? Options?! I told her that I was told by the local hospital that there were no options. She would likely die (sure, they didn't say 'hey she's gonna die', but when they say 'don't leave her side for more than a few minutes' - you draw certain conclusions) and would HAVE TO have the mass/kidney removed. The End. The were no other options and the prognosis was bad.

The doc said they were wrong. She told me we had 3 options. One - operate and remove the mass and kidney. Two - embolize the arteries leading to the mass and insert a tube to drain out the blood in her side. And three - embolize the areteries leading to the mass AND the kidney - pretty much gauranteeing the kidney would die (which could have meant Dialysis, but not definitely) and then watch the situation over a period of time and see what happens. Whatever option was going to be chosen was of course up to them, but they chose 2 which seemed to be the most conservative.

So Monday morning, if she was stable, they would go in and embolise.

I'll finish up the story another day. I still have my hands full with life stuff and need to get back to it. I do want to say a huge THANK YOU to all of you who checked on me and to all of you who kept mom in your thoughts and prayers. It means more to me then you will ever know.

“Paranoia the Destroyer” (as sung by The Kinks)

2009-07-09T07:56:00.000-04:00

I’m playing along in Mama Kat's Writing Workshop this week. I need to get back into the blogging saddle and I think I can do a couple posts a week.

Here are the options for the Writer’s Workshop this week:

The Prompts:
1.) Tell us about a "dirt cheap" you've taken this summer.
(inspired by Anti-Supermom)
2.) When I grow up I want to be like...
(inspired by Jenny Says What?)
3.) Describe a difficult moment that you survived.
(inspired by Sarah M.)
4.) List 5 things you like to do while camping...or 5 places you'd like to go.
(inspired by Kisatrtle)
5.) What are you paranoid about?
(inspired by Melissa)

I have chosen #5. What are you paranoid about?

I don’t know if paranoid is the right word really, but I think it describes it as well as any other word could. I am paranoid of losing a family member.

Here at the beach, there are a seemingly never ending ring of sirens. In June (I believe the date was the 5th) 1998, my SIL had picked my son (then 11) up from his last day of school to take him to get a hair cut for me while I was working. It was raining. As they were leaving the barber shop, Nic was t’boned on her side and the were shoved across a couple lanes of travel.

Meanwhile, I was at work. I had called home to my eldest (then 13) to make sure he got home ok from school and he had. He asked me where Drew was and I told him that Auntie Nickie had picked him up and was taking him to get a hair cut, but they should be home by now. I told him they would be there soon, and to call me when they got in.

A few minutes later my phone at work rang. I just looked at it as if it were a snake. I just knew something was wrong. I picked it up and it was someone official. I couldn’t tell you if it was EMT or Police because I honestly didn’t hear what they said except that there had been an accident. I don’t remember the drive to the hospital, truth be told, I don’t remember much about the few hours after the phone call, but when I got there and saw Drew, he was pretty banged up. Broken arm (which required surgery and a rod and screws) to repair and some damage to his Achilles. Nic was worse. The ER doc told my MIL that they weren’t sure she would make it through the night. Scary stuff.

I wont tell the entire story, some of it is personal and about Nic, and I have no right to talk about her medical issues. Suffice it to say they all came out of it. This is where my paranoia about losing a family member really began.

I can’t hear of a wreck on a traffic report, or hear a siren off in the distance and not wonder where all my ‘eggs’ are. It’s actually caused more than one fight between Mike and I. He goes out of town a lot and if I don’t know what time to expect him, then I don’t know what time to expect him. Does that make sense? For heaven’s sake, just call me when your about an hour out and then I wont worry needlessly.

Some will say that I’m worrying needlessly anyway. The odds are slim and whatnot, but I can’t help it. I really can’t. I have tried. I still do, but there’s just no way for me to NOT worry about them when I don’t know where they are.

So they put up with me. I like to think I’ve gotten better as the boys have gotten older, but it may just be that now, more of it gets deflected onto Mike. Bless his heart. It is what it is though. And I think they love me anyway.

Tell me, my dear Internets, what are you paranoid about?

Wordy Wednesday

2009-07-08T11:06:00.000-04:00

Okie dokie. I'm here. Is everyone else present and accounted for? Yes? Good. Time for a picture show.

First up here is my new hair. Well, it's still my same old hair just with highlights.

And yes, I know I don't have a seatbelt on - BUT - I just got into the car. Hadn't even started it up yet. Promise.

I know that pic above may not show it too well, but you can see a few chunks here. I'm normally dark brown and we were trying to acheive a carmel highlight. It ended up more reddish, but what do you expect from two half drunk chicks and a $5 clearance bottle of highlighter from Target?

I think it looks good. And I'm not drunk right now.

Here are a few shots from the beach last week with the two munchkins. And the kids. Heh.

That's my feet. D'uh!

This is hands down my favorite shot of the day. The girl is Medusa. Look at the picture and tell me I'm wrong.

And this is the "one last dip" before we left. They had fun and I told them I would take them again this summer at least one more time.

SO what have y'all been up to???

100 reasons to love me (again)

2009-07-06T12:03:00.001-04:00

I am very loyal
I am very nurturing
I love hard and sometimes get hurt hard for it
I am 1/2 Portuguese and 1/2 Irish
My middle name is Ann
I was born in Providence, Rhode Island
My mom makes me crazy, daily
My mom loves me daily
I've been married for 24 years - yes to the same man
I had my front teeth knocked out (roots and all still intact) with a baseball bat by my brother when I was 9
I had those same teeth pushed back into my gums (I guess that was what ya did back in the olden days) with NO NOVOCAIN or anything to numb the pain. (hold me)
14 years ago I had those teeth removed (yes they basically lasted that long but after root canal they were starting to get dark) and a permanent bridge installed (installed? is that the right choice of a word there-huh)
I started coloring my hair at the tender age of 23 due to premature graying
I can cook, I just don't enjoy it
I have SJD
I love dogs, but don't like cats much
I have a bird trying to kill me (stop laughing) which I don't get, cause I too don't like cats dear tweety
I was molested when I was 10 for about 6 months, by a family member (no one in my family knows about this-cept me and the perp)
About 14 years ago, I started seeing a therapist to work out issues relating to #18
My therapist moved to California soon after I started seeing him - try not to take that personally
I have a weird sense of humor
I can be a tad moody from time to time (keep laughing-go ahead)
I have two sons ages 24 and 21
I have one beautiful grand daughter soon to be 4
My oldest is working on his first divorce (more to come? stay tuned)
My youngest just ~~got engaged~~ got married.
I have never been abroad (I am a broad though-heh)
My one wish of a place to go before I die is Australia
I dont plan on dying any time soon
My children have both been in car accidents - not together
I have been in a car accident - not with the boys
I have brown hair and brown eyes
My mom and dad divorced when I was 3
I would not know my dad if I tripped over him on the street - he never had any contact with me after the divorce
I am a voracious reader
I am addicted to sunflower seeds
People sometimes dont get my sense of humor
I want EVERYONE to like me
I have 4 brothers and no sisters
I have 2 best friends (hubby and Lissa)
I am always afraid of sirens. I immediately try to remember where all my "eggs" should be at that time (work, home...).
I tend to fear the worst
I am sometimes harsh with my hubby
I love my hubby with every fiber of my being
I wear contacts
I want to be a better person
I think the bird is gonna win this battle (its not funny)
I am not very good at sudoku
I drink on the weekends
I drink on the weekends (oops! see what happens when you drink on the weekends, you forget stuff)
I laugh a lot when hanging with my BFF (usually at her and not with her)
I am looking forward to my birthday this year and normally I dont care about it
I am an avid Red Sox fan
I Have a Red Sox tatt on my left ankle
I have 5 tatts total
I miss being a nani
I miss having babies around
I love the way babies feel and smell
When I cry I get a headache
I enjoy a good cry
My heart swells for families experiencing fertility problems
My favorite color is blue
Lucky number is 3
Steel Magnolias is my favorite movie
I except birthday presents shipped COD (just seeing if y'all were still paying attention - dont make me pay COD!)
I love thunderstorms if I am safely tucked in my house
I live at the beach but dont like the beach - sand, yuck!
I wish I could meet some of my bloggy friends - you com-plete me
I hope to have more grand children (closer than Oklahoma would be great too)
I wanted to be a lawyer
I studied for a criminal justice career in college
My first car was a Chev Monza and I lurved it - till I put a rod through the engine - then I really didn't like it at all
I love to dance
I wont go dancing anymore cause I have gained too much weight
I used to hate brocolli and now I can eat it every day
I love having a laptop, it fits better in my bed than the desktop did (heh)
For my 30th birthday a friend threw me a surprise party and it was - a surprise that is
I smoked pot a couple of times when I was younger
I did inhale
I "stole" a box of candy canes from a store when I was 5 (I had been carrying it in my hands and my mom forgot it was there - so I walked out of the store with it. (Bad Boys, Bad Boys, Whatcha Gon Do, Whatcha Gon Do When They Come For You)
I had my ears pierced at the jewelry store when I was 10
My piercings closed up and my friend re pierced them with some alcohol, fire and a needle
My ears are still pierced from #82
I hate having icky breath and brush my teeth like I have OCD
Oh my gosh - I may have OCD (heh)
I love living in South Carolina
I sometimes miss living in Rhode Island
I am a Dallas Cowboys fan
I handle all the finances in our house
I am unemployed (yes still/again)
I feel like I am getting older and while it beats the alternative, I dont like it
I have a third nipple (again, just seeing if your paying attention - I actually have 4)
I love having hot monkey sex, but avoid it sometimes because I have gained so much weight
My family is not very close knit
I haven't spoken to 3 of my 4 brothers in years
I hate my hair
At 14, I had a boyfriend (for 2 years) who used to beat me up (I never told anyone it was happening)
I ran away from home for a minute (heh) when I was 15
I wanted very badly to attend BlogHer this year, but it's not in the budget
I really enjoy blogging (although I've been distant lately) and love all my bloggy friends

This is an updated list, but most things are still the same as they were when I first did this list.
I'm hoping to reconnect with you, my reader. *ahem*
Surprise gift to anyone who can tell me what my maiden name is. No, really. I don't remember so please tell me.

Lake House Part Deux

2009-06-25T11:00:00.001-04:00

Here are pictures from the lake house last weekend...

Jacob getting accustomed to the 'colder than a mother-in-laws kiss' water. Seriously, wicked cold water comes out of that spicket.

Me. Doing what's most important on any lake house trip. Jagger. And no, my boobs are not lactating. My bikini top was wet through my tank from the slip n slide.

There was no where for Mike to go that Maddy didn't follow. When Mike went jogging around the lake, Maddy went. Flip-flops and all.

So or course, she had to sit out with her guy. As Maddie would say, "We're taking a tan". Yes, Maddie and Mike were both COVERED in sunscreen. Courtesy of me.

Strike a pose Mads!! She actually flipped her hair in one shot, but I can't find it. It's hilarious though. Take my word for it.

Jacob, ever the acrobat. This kid needs a gymnastics class like nobodies business. But his older brother, when he's around which was NOT this weekend, makes fun of him. So Jacob will NOT take a class. And it's unfortunate, because the kids got some talent.

Jacob taking a ride on the slip n slide.

Mike taking his turn. The kids had to bully him into it. Very funny.

A great time was had by all, but no fish were caught. They were smarter than we were and stayed inside. Inside the water that is. It was 100 degrees and hotter than the 9 rings of hell.
I don't think we'll be going back because it looks like my bossman, who's house it is, will be selling it. If he doesn't sell it anytime soon, we'll try to go back one more time this year. If he does, well, it was fun while it lasted.

Insatiable indeed

2009-06-24T15:16:00.003-04:00

WARNING: THIS POST IS RATED R FOR ADULT CONTENT. CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED.

When I received my new adult toy, I was just as excited to try it out as I had been with my others. It came in its usual "plain brown wrapping" which is always a plus. Especially considering SOMEONE in my neighborhood has STOLEN my last two deliveries and it's bad enough to know that SOMEONE in the 'hood knows my lil secret. Ok, all of *you* know...so, not much of a secret.

My Insatiable Bunny. The first thing I noticed was the feel of the material the vibrator is made of. It felt almost jelly-like, but a bit thicker. I thought this could be very interesting and couldn't wait to try it out.

Unfortunately, this one just didn't live up to my expectations. I think it may have been named "insatiable" because it couldn't satiate me. I'm not that hard to please. (shuddup!)

The bullet that should sit in the clitoral portion kept falling out. When I was finally able to get the bullet to stay in the clitoral portion, it didn't quite sit in the right 'spot'. I'm someone who needs to have clitoral stimulation with sex if I plan to acheive orgasm and I think the fact that this toy would not have been able to help me acheive that, was its downfall. (TIFF DON'T GET THIS ONE)

The material (something called TPR - as I mentioned before, it's jelly-like, but awfully thick) was so thick on the penis portion, I could barely tell there was another bullet in there. Even on its highest setting, I could barely feel it. So this portion could be used fine as a dildo, but not a vibrator. Not for me anyway.

After several minutes, I finally took the bullets out, covered them with silicone covers, and used them alone. Without the rabbit. Poor rabbit... I'll give him some carrots later.

It uses 3 AA batteries, which I do have in bulk quantities (*wink-wink*), but I don't think the ones in this adult toy will die from overuse.

I have a fairly decent variety of sex toys, but I can say that I don't think this toy will make it into the rotation. In all honesty, I'm not sure it will get used again.

Check out the unbelievably large selection at Eden Fantasys when your in the market for your next adult toy.

Friday Fragments

2009-06-19T07:00:00.001-04:00

If you'd like to read more Friday Fragments, just click here to visit Mrs4444.

LOOK MA! A NEW POST!!
(my mom doesn't really read this, thank God)

Has anyone else seen the previews/advertisements for the new MTV show called (I think) 16 and pregnant? I don't know if it's actually on the air yet, but I hope it never makes it. What the hell is wrong with the idiots who thought of this idea? I realize it's Reality TV and that, YES, teenage girls are getting pregnant, far too frequently, but c'mon! What are you thinking? Let's glamorize it so all the 15 and 16, maybe even younger, kids watching it can say, "Oooh.! I should get pregnant because maybe I'll be on MTV!" If the Producers think for a minute that teenagers are going to see this show and decide to not have sex, they're stupid. Or never had a teenager. Or both.

We're going back to the lake this weekend. I hope Jacob catches another fish. I would love to compare a picture from this year to last. I think he's grown at least 5 inches. He looks like such a young man. Makes my heart melts when he smiles. Then he whines..... and I get over it.

I'm going back next week to re-file for unemployment. Now, don't go feeling bad for me, it was actually my idea. There's just not enough work for him to keep me busy and I feel like I'm taking money from him for nothing. I'd rather not do that. I'm hoping to be done with school by the end of the year anyway, so maybe this is gonna work out for the best. If I can collect for a little while longer, finish school, and get a job in my field - then bully for me. That's my goal anyway.
Nothing gets my adrenalin pumping faster then seeing a wreck. I just saw one (Thursday) on my way to the bank. I was pushing my wheelbarrow in, so I could get all the cash, and I looked up and saw a moped careen off the drivers side of a car. First of all it hurt my heart for him. It was a moped y'all. That's essentially a DUI. It got me to thinking there but for the grace of God go I. Joking. I don't drink and drive. But seriously, I threw my ~~wheelbarrow~~ car into park and ran over to help. The woman who hit him was more concerned with making sure I heard her syaing things like, "What did you do? Where did you come from, you weren't there and then you were." This pissed me off for a couple reasons. Firstly, I didn't see and didn't care if she was at fault. She must have thought I was going to help him file a suit against her when in fact all I was concerned with was the boy. Well not a boy, but young. Maybe 27. (Yeah now you see why I think DUI? C'mon!) She didn't even ask him how he was. Not in the whole time I was there. Bitch. He told me he was ok and after I used my bottled water to rinse off his many wounds (which reminds me - Note to self: throw away bottle. Bio-hazardous material anyone?), I agreed. Nothing seemed broken, just bleeding and beat up. He refused me calling anyone, so I went on my way. Back to the bank. To get my wheelbarrow full of money. I would have robbed it, but my knit cap was in the laundry. Damn housekeeper.
I happened upon a blood drive this afternoon (Thursday). So I went in to give. (I just realized that means I did 2 good deeds today - why yes, I am pulling my shoulder out of the socket patting myself on the back!) While I was donating, the ladies were all looking at me kind of oddly. I didn't know why they were staring so intently and I got to thinking - Hey! If there's vodka coming out of my veins, I want that back! That can be recycled." Turns out it was just blood. They were just lovin my t-shirt. They came and asked me where I got it and I told them it was a fund raiser through one of the schools. I think it can be ordered online though. Here's a pic:

Cool, no? :)

That's about all I've got. Need to get my bags packed so I can head out early in the morning.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!!!

Hey there old friend. It's been a while.

2009-06-18T08:10:00.002-04:00

It's been a while since I've been tagged for a meme, but I got hit by Miss Jules, so here goes.

6 things that make me happy. (It may have been supposed to be 6 little things, but 6 nonetheless)

When the Red Sox beat the Yankees
Stepping on the scale and not having it yell, "Holy shit! Get off me!"
Hearing a baby laugh. That's the most infectious sound I've ever heard.
When my son calls me just to see how I'm doing. That's a nice departure from "Mom, I need some money."
Watching silly shows on TV. Like WIll & Grace (I wanna be Karen when I grow up-it's why I drink so much, I'm in training) and Gilmore Girls. I wish both of those shows were still on the air.
Thinking about my two upcoming trips. Baltimore in September and Texas in October. Add that to the fact that my birthday is in August and we got a TRIFECTA!!

I'm not one for tagging others, I'm always so worried I'll piss someone off. Or worse yet, you'll talk about me. OMG! I would hate that.

Wordy Wednesday

2009-06-17T07:24:00.000-04:00

THIS IS MY RUNAWAY FUND.
(RECOGNIZE THE JAR AMYBO? IT'S STILL EMPTY. JUST SAYIN)

I ACCEPT DONATIONS THRU PAYPAL.

2009-06-11T10:00:00.001-04:00

This week Mama Kat had some pretty interesting writing prompts. I chose this one:

3.) What have you been busy doing that's keeping you from updating your blog? How hard is it for you to get back into the swing of blogging when you take time off?
(inspired by Sera)

I have no clue. Seriously. I have no small children, hell - No children at home at all. I barely work part time if lucky. I am taking online courses, but that's on my time so I can break from it if I need to blog.
But therein may lie the problem. Feeling like I need to. Whenever in my life that I've been made to feel like I have to do something, I immediately don't want to. This is supposed to be fun. A way to chat with my other bloggy friends and catch up on everyone's happenings. Not a second job (although it pays nearly as much as my first).

Then, much like any habit, it's too hard to break. It's so easy to say, "maybe I'll post something tomorrow" and before I know it, it's been a week since I've posted something. Then I get to thinking, "well it's not like anyone misses me" (not intended as a pity party - just a justification to not post again), and I start thinking how I don't really NEED to have a blog anymore. Who does really?

All of this is not to say that I'll start posting more frequently, cause I know I won't. I'll just do the best I can.

Wow, this rambled a bit more than I intended. Sorry about that. It's Sera's fault; but at least you got a blog post today.

Emoticons at CommentsGuru.com

(that website has some really cool emoticons on it! check it out)

Wordy Wednesday

2009-06-10T12:43:00.002-04:00

Visual proof that teenage boys can sleep ANYWHERE.

(and yes, there is a face under there somewhere)

Remember when you used to like me?

2009-06-05T11:57:00.003-04:00

When people used to like me, and enjoy reading me (at least a little) I was asked to guest blog. This was a long time ago, like when the dinosaurs roamed the earth. But I wanted to share a blog post I did back way back then, in case someone needs a guest blogger. Consider this my AI audition.

When Katt asked me to be a guest blogger for her, my initial response was, “Wow! She must have some slim pickins if she’s asking me. I’m not nearly as interesting as, well, anyone else I read.” Then she told me that she thinks I’m interesting and likes my writing. At this point, I realized she'd had one too many glasses of wine and I shouldn't argue with her. So I accepted and here we are. Just don’t hold her accountable for my lack of intelligence or interesting things to say.

I want to talk today about the Mother/Daughter bond. I have never had a daughter, only 2 sons, so I can only speak about the relationship from one perspective. A daughter’s perspective. More importantly, my perspective as my mother’s daughter.

Growing up, I didn’t feel I had a great bond with my mom. Around the time I became a teenager, the bond I had with my mother was tenuous at best. We fought constantly, and I truly believed she begrudged me the carefree life I had that she never did. She began making me take my (9 year) younger brother with me everywhere I went, including on dates. I felt like that was her way of not allowing me to be a kid, therefore, putting a stop to any fun I might be having.

From as far back as I can remember, my mom has always turned whatever crisis or illness you have back onto herself. For instance, about 15 years ago, my brother was diagnosed with MS and she immediately began crying and carrying on, “What did I do to that made this happen?” That may sound trite, but she has pushed away the rest of the family with her behavior and now only has me left.

There are things that happened in my childhood (I refer to it in my own blog here at #18) that I have never told her. I’m sure we all have things we have never told our moms, but I doubt for the same reason.

Mom was an alcoholic (I guess was is not the correct word here) when I was growing up, so on the one hand I do blame her for what happened to me. But it did happen to me. So I think maybe I don’t share it with her because in some strange way I don’t want her to “take it away from me”. It sucked, don’t get me wrong, and I wish it never happened at all. But its part of what made me who I am today. The bond continued to crack.

Now, with all the issues surrounding my (soon to be ex) DIL taking my grand daughter so far away, mom has been in rare form. I did all my crying, scheming and screaming months ago and I’m done with that. I am now trying to work with the DIL to come up with a way to get to Okla. and see the baby. But every time I see mom, she brings up the baby and she turns it into a crying jag about how she is not able to see her and how much she misses her. She calls her, her grand daughter. (“I miss my grand daughter – Why did she take my grand daughter away from me?) I’m sure she misses her and (believe me) I know how much it hurts, but again I feel like she is taking this away from me. This is my grand daughter. She has grand children and other great-grandchildren that she shows absolutely NO.INTEREST.IN.AT.ALL. Why does it not seem to bother her to have no part of their lives? This seems to, once again, be her trying to take something away from me. My pain, my loss, my illness, or my grand daughter. Where does it end?

The once tenuous bond is becoming increasingly fragile. I fear it may altogether break and then she will have no one left.
I started this off talking about not having had a daughter of my own, but I know mine is not the “norm” when it comes to the mother/daughter bond. I have girl friends that have decent relationships with their mothers. This is what I imagine the mother/daughter bond should be. Sure arguments from time to time, but nurturing and loving too. These are not things I can say exist in the relationship I have with my mother. I love her, but I can’t say that I like her very much.

Is there a way to strengthen this bond? I don’t know, but I fear it might be too late.

Tell me about your mother/daughter bond from whichever perspective(s) you may have. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Writer's Workshop: A memorable gift

2009-06-04T12:49:00.003-04:00

It's time for Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop (y'all would pay for my writing lessons if you had seen how many times I spelled out Writer's Workshop wrong) and this week, I chose prompt 3:

3. Describe a memorable gift. Why was it important to you?

This is hands down the most memorable gift ever given to me by Mike.

Back in 1999, when we were celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary, we renewed our vows. It was a simple ceremony at one of the chapels by the sea here at the beach. I'm a simple girl and quite honestly I only did it to see if I would get more presents.. Cha-ching!!

Anyway, the next year on Valentine's Day (anyone who knows me IRL knows I don't celebrate Valentine's Day) Mike had a gift for me. Well re-read the above paragraph if necessary, but - I LOVE PRESENTS so I tore into it. I realized pretty quickly that it was a frame. No dull edges on this girl. What I didn't notice, was the picture. All frames come with pictures in them, so I paid no attention to the picture and just thought about what picture I would put in it. It's such a pretty frame.

Then Mike said, "What do you think of the picture"? I looked at it more closely and then it dawned on me. HE went through every picture from that day, without any help from me (no small feat for my husband, trust me) and picked the perfect picture to put in that frame. I love it and NOTHING has ever meant more to me.

It has never moved from it's place of honor on the top of my jewelry box. I mean that too, you should see the dust under that sucker.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-06-03T12:48:00.004-04:00

Crazy 8's (or How Sunny punishes those closest to her)

2009-06-02T19:00:00.000-04:00

My ~~bitch of a friend~~ dear friend, Sunny, tagged me in a meme. It's called Crazy 8's. I've done it before, but it's been a while so probably everything has changed anyway. I'm flaky like that. So here goes.

Eight things I am looking forward to.

Repainting my bathroom, which I'll be doing in these next couple weeks. I'm gonna do the same colors that are in my bedroom. It's gonna look so nice. And yes, I did just finish painting and tiling that bathroom about 6 months ago. What can I say, I'm a work in progress.
Finishing school and finding a job.
Takin my hubby out to lunch this Sunday for his birthday. He's gonna be the big 4-6. Inching ever so closer to 50 - hehehehe.
My trip to Baltimore this September to see my Red Sox play the Orioles. I'm hoping to meet a blogging buddy there too, fingers crossed.
My trip in October to meet several bloggy buddies!!! This is a huge trip for me and I'm beside myself with excitement!!!
The return of Big Brother in July, although I've heard it's going to be less houseguests this year which equals a shorter season. I guess I'll take what I can get though.
My birthday in August. I don't know why I look so forward to it, nothing ever happens.
Halloween (I threw that in for you Tiffany). I used to like Halloween when my kids were little, now I could take it or leave it, but Tiffany has so much fun at Halloween, she's hilarious and that makes it more fun. Can't wait to see her costume this year - and Speedy's.

Eight things I did yesterday. (If I can't include peeing, this is gonna be tough)

Took Penny for a long walk before her mommy and daddy came to pick her back up. And boy was I glad they did, cause it stormed BAAAAAAD yesterday afternoon. Wicked thunder and hail!! Penny and I both would have needed Valium.
Went to work, but didn't technically 'work'. Not for lack of trying, there was just nothing to do.
Played Spymaster. All.day.long. I'm not far from Level 8 now!
Payed some bills. It was fun. I used the "who are the lucky recipients this week" method. I would explain it to you, but it's very technical.
(....I didn't cook, so I can't put that. Jeez, what else did I do?) OH YEAH!!! I swept the bleepin floor after Penny left. SO MUCH DOG HAIR.
Checked the mail. I have to count that because I am seriously running out of things. Seriously. There was NOTHING in the mailbox to have warranted that drive. You know your life is boring when you look forward to the mail delivery.
Text Tiffany because I was afraid no one was seeing my Twitter updates. I'm a Twitter whore.
Harassed AmyBo while she was at the dentist. No wait, she was actually IN the dentist chair while I was picking on her. I wish I'd have thought of a way to make a drill noise. Then I could have really jacked up her anxiety - lol. Love ya AmyBo!

Eight things I wish I could do.

Have a baby. Before you all start preaching about the colick, the waking up every few hours, the starting all over again - remember, this is not an option for me. No more 'womb with a view' so I can say I wish I could all I want...without consequence.
Meet ALL of my bloggy buddies. You all seem so cool, I wish I could just travel the world and meet you all. Then again, you could all be harpies and shrews. Much like clothing can hide a mulitude of sins, so can the Internet.
Have enough money to pay off all my bills so I wouldn't be so worried about becoming unemployed again. It's coming, I can feel it. The unemployment, not the paying off of the bills.
Lose 20 pounds. I know I CAN lose it, I just CAN'T lose it. Get it?
Buy the entire series of Will and Grace. No matter how many times I've watched these same episodes over and over, I still laugh my ass off. I wanna be Karen when I grow up. Maybe that's why I drink so much...
Put a pool in. I am not a big 'swim at the beach' person, I don't like the sand. But oh if I had a pool, I'd never get out of it.
~~Have wild werewolf sex with Taylor Lautner (Jacob - Twilight Saga).~~ HEY! How'd that get there?!?! He's young enough to be my...*gulp*
Afford Lasik (however the hell that's spelled) surgery. Contacts and bifocals SUCK!

Eight shows I watch.

Big Brother
Amazing Race
House
Bones
Will and Grace
Gilmore Girls (I'd like to own this series too - just sayin. My birthday's in August. *ahem)
RR/RW Challenge.
Rescue Me ( I would do Denis Leary too.)

Eight favorite fruits.

Watermelon
Peaches
Bananas
Grapes
Kiwi
Strawberry
Plums
Cherries

Eight places I'd like to travel.

Australia
Greece
3-8 will be places that my bloggy friends live. And since you all know where you live, I don't have to list them.

Eight places I've lived.

Providence (born there)
Warwick (lived there when married)
Marietta (should have taken a left turn at Albuquerque)
Union
Gaffney
Myrtle Beach
Houston
Trenton

Whew! I'm glad that's over.

I'm supposed to tag 8, but I'm not going to. If you've never done this and you want to, or if your just lacking for something to post and you haven't done this in a while - have at it.

But let me know if you do - I'd love to read your Crazy 8's!!

I'm not allowed to talk to the kids anymore AND how Tentcamper ruined me

2009-06-01T10:53:00.002-04:00

I was outside with Maddie (7) the other day and she asked me to tell her a story. I thought back and couldn't remember any child ever asking me to tell them a story before. I thought for a minute and I remembered that last week AmyBo had started a "lets tell a story" on twitter so I started with that story.

Deb: Once upon a time, there was a little girl who had a dog named Shushu.
Maddie: What kind of dog was it?
Deb: A toy poodle
Maddie: And then what happened?
Deb: Well she took her dog for a walk.
Maddie: And then what happened?
Deb: Shushu got hit by a car and died.
Maddie: (*gasp) And what happened to the little girl? (see? even at the age of 7 we can't help but want to know what comes next in the train wreck)
Deb: Well, she was so upset, she cried and then she killed herself.
Maddie: Oh no! What did her mama and daddy do?!
Deb: Well her daddy ran off with a 22 year old "dancer" (yes I DID air quote a 7 year old) a long time ago, and her mama was so sad, she killed herself too.

Maddie ran in the house and told her mother my story. I'm not allowed to talk to the kids anymore.

==================================

TentCamper ruined me. I haven't showered in 36 hours.

I got an email from him the other day about joining his spy ring. Huh?! First thought? Dude, I'm fat and old an probably couldn't outrun anyone if they chased me. Also, I don't see me holding onto state secrets too long. The promise of an Almod Joy and I'd sing like a canary.

Then he told me it was an online game you can only play if you belong to twitter. I am not an online gamer. I just don't find it all that interesting, no matter the game, and have so much to do as it is.

*ahem Let's just say...

It's called Spymaster. Dudes, don't click that link and join. It's addictive. I'm at work right now (yes! I am at work and haven't showered! Say something smart! Go 'head - I'll assassinate your ass next!), blogging and assassinating people left and right. Ok, I don't always hit on the assassinations, but I'm trying.

This is so much fun. I gotta go, I think my energy level is built back up.

Friday Fragments

2009-05-29T11:37:00.000-04:00

This weeks Friday Fragments is brought to you by the letter "F" and all the fine folks at Hood Ice Cream (don't ask, I have no idea). If you wish to play along, or read more Friday Fragments please visit Mrs4444.
We have some sort of moles. They are leaving tracks through my lawn that look like Bugs Bunny should be poking up through and saying "I knew I shoulda taken that left turn at Albuquerque".

(wascally wabbit)
If I ever see them pop there little head or heads up (I have no idea how many there are), "there's gonna be a misunderstandin up in here" (*bows head to the late, great Bernie Mac*).

It'll be like a game of whack-a-mole at the county fair. The suckers are going down; I plan on taking home the big prize.

=========================================

1/2 way through school, but now onto the really tough stuff. Medical Terminolgy, Anatomy, Biology, Physiology...you get the picture. I'm actually looking forward to these classes; well, more than I was looking forward to the others I've taken. I've always been a big medical geek. Seriously, I have medical pages Bookmarked on my computer. I'm odd.

Anyway, 1/2 way through and maintaining a 92 average thus far. It had been 95, but I stumbled a little here lately and got a 76 and a couple 88's. But 92 is still great. I'm not disappointed.

You know what does disappoint me? Mike. He doesn't ever ask, "How did you do on the last test (or project)?" It kinda hurts my feelings. Maybe it's payback for not wanting to listen to his work stuff, but although I never ask about it, I do listen. I may slip into a coma-like state, but I listen. I feel like he doesn't care enough to even ask.

Maybe he just realizes that I've only been biding my time for the last 25 years, waiting for the REAL Mr. Right to come along, and I'm just gonna leave him anyway. Just you wait Mr. Man...another 25 more years tops and I'll find him. Just you wait.

=========================================

I think I mentioned that Jackie's (my new DIL) gramma died and the kids had to go to NJ for the funeral. Well this means I'm dogsitting for my granddoggie again. I do love this lil girl She's so 'let me lay on you and you'll pet me and I'll give you 16 hours to stop' that you can't help but love her. Unfortunately she's petrified of thunderstorms. And nearly everyday here, with the heating of the afternoon, we get thunderstorms. She shakes uncontrollably, which would be funny if I didn't feel so bad for her - pants like she's dehydrated - and drools enough that she SHOULD be dehydrated. Yesterday she drooled so much I thought I would need to build an Ark.

Oddly enough though, her drool is confined mostly to one spot. The bathroom. It seems she does NOT want to leave the bathroom when it's storming, at my house or theirs, and would prefer to just hang out in the tub if at all possible. Keep the lights off too. She doesn't want it bright. She told me. I think it's a self-esteem thing.

Lucky for me, it's Mike's bathroom she's taken a shine to and not mine. I really don't think it would be fun to shower with a dog.

Here's a pic of her hiding out yesterday. I'm sure she'll be in this SAME.EXACT.SPOT later today. There's more storms in the forecast. *sigh* Poor baby.

Tell me she doesn't look like a dog possessed. And the mess in there? All her.

This is her when she's semi-normal.

===================================

That's all I have this week. See you next week for another great edition of Friday Framents.

==========================================

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop

2009-05-28T08:12:00.000-04:00

Mama Kat's writing assignment this week consisted of so many fun writing prompts that I had a hard time picking just one. So I spoke to the teacher, gave her a big shiny red apple, and she said I could do two. Don't be jealous.

So here's the two I picked:

1. What is your life's anthem? You know...that song that is ALWAYS in your head. The one you'd go to sing first if someone told you to sing a song right NOW. What is it and what does it mean to you? (inspired by Tattooed Minivan Mom)

My life's anthem? I don't know if the song that's ALWAYS in my head is my life's anthem, but if it is, I need someone to tell me what it says about my life. Cause there's something wrong with me. I mean it. You'll agree with me when you watch the vid. Actually you may offer to pay for my therapy.

6. Ok I was going to end it with five, but Laina just got out of bed as I was finishing this post and I SWEAR she is sleep walking. It's creepy. I keep asking her what she is doing and she's staring at me...but not directly at me...kind of just a centimeter to the left of my head. I KNEW she was a sleep walker. I just knew it. SO! Share a sleep walking story of your own!!
(inspired by my scary four year old)

That's a picture of the way our bedroom was set up in our old house. As you can see (what? you can't see? well PRETEND!) the door was directly across from a window. Our youngest, Drew, used to sleep walk. But usually it was just a little wandering around the house and then he would go back to bed.
Well on this particular night, he came into our bedroom - I'm the one laying closer to the door - and I felt him so I opened my eyes and started to get up. I was going to get him back to bed when he looked at the window and gave the loudest, blood curdling, hair raising scream I'd ever heard. Hubby jumped up and we both ran to the window, sure the boy had to have seen something. There was just something to that scream, you know?
I made the hubby go outside and take whatever he needed to with him and find what or who was out there. Hubby kept trying to come back in, but he hadn't found anything, so I wouldn't let him back in.
Then I fell asleep back in the boys room, forgetting that I had locked the door behind the hubby.

Ok, maybe not forgetting, but who can be sure.

It is safe to say that he wasn't happy with me when I finally woke up and remembered.

Wanna play along? Check out Mama Kat's workshop here. It's just like Santa's.

Wordy Wednesday

2009-05-26T20:40:00.008-04:00

Someone asked for pics from the luau. I seem to be the only person in my life who ever picks up a camera, but I did the best I could.

Here's some vids of Maddie. First one is of her doing a cheer. So grab your pom-poms and follow along.

Oh, and sorry they're both sideways, I can't figure out how to rotate the damn things. Grrrrr...

This second one is of the little hula girl herself. She almost wouldn't do it without her teacher - moi - but I finally talked her into it. Notice the little flower anklet thingie. She had on a flower headband, but lost it like 42 times and I gave up.

Now a couple pictures:

This one is Chris's girlfriend. Or at least she was. If I was her, I would have dumped him after the crap he pulled on Saturday night. But, I assume she's still with him.

Her name is also Chris. Christina to be exact. So I called them C&C music factory, and C squared, or Double C. I'm witty like that. Until he pissed me off. Then I called her Chris, and him I haven't called.

Notice she too is wearing a flower ankle thingie. She's about 17,356 feet tall. For real.

Also, notice, on the counter, the can of red bull with 2 shot glasses containing the remnants of Jagermeister. I don't know how that happened. I tried to keep them full all day. They just kept turning up empty.

That may explain the lack of pictures too.
This is what I affectionately refer to as one of the "old ladies". Y'all don't get uppity, they know I call them that. This particular old lady is Aunt Jean. I don't where the other two were. Probably drinking my Jagermeister.

And behind her is Drew walking outside to help his dad with the grilling. His new bride couldn't make it. Her grandma was sick (and I just got a call saying she died) and her mom had just had a cardiac event. I think that turned out to be a lung infection of some sort, but needless to say Jackie was a basket of nerves and didn't care to be around anyone but her family. I totally get that. Love you Jackie - so sorry about your gramma.

That's the only proof I have of a luau cookout at my house this weekend. Like I said, no one else takes pics but me, and I had some drinking to do.

Happy Hump Day kids!!

Didja miss me?

2009-05-26T14:01:00.001-04:00

I am sorry I haven't posted much, but I've really not had much to say. Lots going on, so that's not it. Company, holidays, work, school - I'm just not sure there was anything worthy of a post.

We had a nice Memorial Day. Cookout - luau themed complete with hula dancing. No coconut bra tops though. There was badminton, horseshoes, family, and lots of people. A good time was had by all.

Other than that, school is fine. Moving right along.

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I was reading Aunt Becky's blog a few weeks ago, and she mentioned that a friend of hers had written a book and was looking for a few people who might review it for him.

I'm always up for reading - oh, anything, so I sent him an email and told him I would love to read his book if he was still looking for takers. He accepted and had his publisher send it to me.

His name is Chris Mancini, click here if you'd like to be directed to his blog. He's funny and wity and you wont be disappointed.

When I was about 10 pages from finishing his book I sent him this email:

"I am just about finished with your book and let me just say, you are hilarious.
I'm not a man either, seriously, I'm not, and I still think your funny.
Reading all the times you were mean (read = a normal man) to your wife were even funny. I didn't want to tie your testicles together at all. (I feel like after reading this book, we're close enough for me to mention your testicles.)

The "father stitch"? Oh my jesus (it's OK that I said jesus, I'm Catholic too)! I snorted my vodka, er, coffee through my nose.

But more than anything, I loved that you admitted when y'all made (and probably still make) mistakes. So many people try to "sound good on paper" - you really didn't. At all. Admitting that you strapped her in the carseat wrong though, may earn you a visit from social services. Keep an eye on the peephole.

I wish I knew a father-to-be to give this book to. Well, one that was literate I mean. I'm sure there's plenty of rednecks in the neighborhood here procreating, and although you have a six pack on the cover, your still lacking the prerequisite racing image needed to make them pick up a book.

I would like to do a review on my blog, with a giveaway of this book. If that's acceptable to you. I'll probably just say most of the same things I said in this email, except I can leave out your testicles if your feeling proprietary.

Anyway, let me know what you think.

And for reals, you are a funny man."

Chris said not only was it OK for me to giveaway the book, but I could also leave in all references to his testicles. Yeah, we're that close.

So with all that said and done, I would love to give this book away to anyone who is having a baby, knows someone having a baby, or even just plans on having a baby someday. This is a great read for any new father-to-be, and hell even a mother-to-be. A little insider info to a man's psyche can't hurt.

First one to comment that you just MUST HAVE this book - it's all yours.

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I'll try to post again before the end of the week. Later!!

In and Out

2009-05-26T09:38:00.000-04:00

*tap tap tap* hello...?

*ahem*

Still alive here. Just in case you were wondering. Just been busy. I have a book review/giveaway that I will post later today. I'm at the office right now and the bossman thinks I should actaully work. The nerve.

Oh, and wearing bifocals really screws with your equilibrium. Just so you know.

Pillow Talk

2009-05-16T06:04:00.000-04:00

4:11 a.m.
Hubby comes walking out of our bathroom and for who knows what reason, I'm wide awake. I should still be passed out as much as I drank last night, but whatever.
Hubby does "side work" on the weekends. Thank God for side work, because I think that's what kept us afloat during my ridiculously long lay off. This morning he has a job to do. I assume that's why he's up so early, but he climbs back in bed.

Me: Why'd you wake me up?
Him: I didn't wake you up.
Me: Yes, you did
Him: No, I didn't
Me: Yes, you did
Him: No, I didn't
Me: Well, since I'm up (and seriously, I mean WIDE AWAKE), I need to tell you I've made a decision. I realize I probably should have discussed it with you, but since I've already made it, I don't think I'll be changing my mind.
(pause for dramatic effect) (I wish y'all could have seen his face. No, really, cause I couldn't. The bedroom was too dark.)
Him: (*gulp)
Me: I've decided I don't want to have any kids
Him: (rolling over, turning his back to me) Your an idiot

Me: Why'd you wake me up?
Him: I didn't wake you up
Me: Yes, you did
Him: No, I didn't

5:15
You've all heard the expression "If momma aint happy, nobodies happy." Well the same thing applies here. If momma aint sleeping, nobodies sleeping

Me: Why'd you wake me up?
Him: (teetering on the cusp of sleep) Wha....? Ugh! I didn't wake you up!
Me: Yes, you did
Him: No, I didn't
Me: Yes, you did
Him: No, I didn't
Him: (tossing off the sheet) I guess I'll just get up now.
Me: Well, since your getting up anyway, make me some coffee
Him: Mmm-hmm
Me: And get my laptop
Him: Mmm-hmm
Me: Why'd you wake me up so early?
Him: *sigh (leaves bedroom)
Me: (loudly) Don't forget my laptop!!

30 minutes later, he (finally) brings me in my coffee.
Me: Jesus! Is the coffee pot broken?
Him: No, why?
Me: That took forever!
Him: *DO* be careful not to burn your tongue
Me: Next time you wake me up so early
Him: I DIDN'T WAKE YOU UP!
Me: Yes, you did. Next time you do, you need to make me a buffet. I'm hungry.
Him: I'm going to work. Love you. See you later...........

PS: I guess I wont be going back to sleep. I'm gonna be one tired mofo later. Y'all should be happy you don't know me IRL.

Friday Fragments

2009-05-15T07:27:00.000-04:00

Here we go again. For more Friday Fragments, visit Mrs4444.

This is what I encounter nearly every.single.day when I leave my neighborhood to (try) to get to work.

Have you ever? These little guys rule this neighborhood. And their cute, don’t get me wrong, but I may be the only person in the world who constantly calls in late due to duck crossings. That ranks right up there with “my dog ate my homework”.

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Tiffany and I were having a discussion the other day. About comments or the lack thereof. I topped 100 followers sometime over the last few days (101 last time I looked). That’s really cool, but… I’m lucky if I get 10-15 comments and Tiff says she's fielding about the same. Where are the other 85-90 of you? I can't speak for Tiff, but your really screwing with my self-esteem, which was pretty low to start with. So knock it off and start leaving comments. I don’t even care if you say you don’t like me. Just throw me a frickin bone.
*ahem* Thank you. I love you.

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My boss asked me how school was going the other day and I told him pretty good. I asked him again, just to be reassured, if he’s still ok with me doing my homework while at the office since everything is still so slow. He answered with, “No I don’t mind. I encourage it. I think it’s a great idea.” If you remember, I told him I was going to school to further my accounting/bookkeeping knowledge, which is not true. Every time he’s nice to me, I feel bad for lying to him, but I can’t let him know that I’m hoping to be able to leave him someday. It’s just that I know I can’t stay. Things are bad and I don’t love the idea of having to file for unemployment again. I’m barely part time right now and I do not hold out hope that his business will come back around. I fear that more likely it will be going under. I have to do what I have to do to make sure I’m prepared for that eventuality. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself.

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I think car makers should not be allowed to make cars, trucks or SUV’s without directional signals. It’s really a safety issue. Someone could get h…, what’s that you say? They DO all come equipped with directional signals? So the Horry County Police Officer that quick as lightening changed lanes yesterday, using no directional, therefore, cutting me off and almost causing me to wreck had directional signals? Well I declare… Oh and Horry is not pronounced Whorey. They didn’t name it that because I live here, the “H” is silent.

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Most of you know that I do reviews for money The post/review I did the other day for ExtraBux was not just for money. I really did join the site and it really is legit. I can’t think of a reason to not shop via their links to my favorite stores since I’m making money doing it. If anyone out there knows something I don’t, let me know.

With that being said, when you do see posts titled “Review: ____________”, don’t feel you need to read or respond to that.

Everything else I post though, refer back to my second fragment.

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If one day, I should just disappear; I'm in a ditch somewhere and you should blame it on AmyBo. I was texting her yesterday, while driving, and she told me, "That's a BIG NO NO! BAD GIRL!" OK. I'll stop. Except, she kept texting me. So I kept responding. What was I supposed to, ignore her? Then she told me that just because she was texting me, didn't mean I had to read it. WTF!? Then why are you texting me? IS responding not the whole point?!

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TrueHeartGirl, I didn't work out yesterday. I did however, run my phone battery down to nothing texting back and forth with you while watching that sad ball game. So my fingers got a GREAT workout. That's something, right?

Today though, today is another day. I'm hittin it hard today. The elliptical I mean. Get your mind out of the gutter.

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That's all I've got today kids. I got "Strap Perfect" in the mail yesterday, and after using it for one day I love it. I wear tank tops nearly every single day, so I'm hoping to have good results from it. But I'm gonna give it a couple days and then I'll let y'all know if it's worth the $28 I paid.

Later taters!! Have a great weekend!

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner. Shit, now I'm hungry

2009-05-14T16:35:00.001-04:00

And the winner's are:

Chocolate Covered Daydreams:
"She is a crack up! I have the dvd of the one that you're talking about listening to. It's pretty good!"

Since you already own this one, check her ChondaMart link and let me know which one you would like. CD or DVD, either one if s fine.

and

Mama Kat:
"Well now I'm intrigued. I've never heard of this lady...but if she's good enough for you..."

Click the above link and just let me know which one you would like to have.

Y'all just send me your addressess, via email, to menard2530(dot)yahoo(dot)com, and I'll get them right out to you.

Congrats to you both!!!

"Wickedly" Wordy Wednesday (and a giveaway) ((UPDATED))

2009-05-13T14:00:00.002-04:00

**UPDATE: Since I've already had a few people who seem to really like Chonda, I'm going to give away not one, but two copies of one of her CD's. The second winner wil be picked by a random number generator (if I wasn't so stoopid, I would have done that to begin with) sometime Thursday, May 14th.**

And that's "wickedly" as in OMG! That's a LOTof words and not "wickedly" as in I'm being a baaaad girl. Continue on.

This past Saturday, my mom told me she had a CD she wanted me to listen to. Well, my mom's taste in music and mine are, shall we say, not exactly the same. They used to be when I was younger and she controlled what I listened to (I did go see Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons with my mom - and I liked it), but not so much anymore. Somehow I can't see her breakin it down to the likes of T.I. or Ludacris. I told her to leave it in my car (we were at a birthday party/cookout) and I would listen to it later.

Well, Monday came around and mom stopped by to see if I had listened to it yet. No ma'am, I haven't had time. (Side note: I didn't have time?!?! Who was I trying to kid?) She said, "well you really should. It's a Christian comedienne named Chonda Pierce and your really going to love her. She's so funny."

Ruh-roh. Mom knows I'm not a very religious girl, so what was she trying to pull here? And not only that, but Christian and comedienne in the same sentence?! C'mon! I promised her I would listen to it in the morning (because YES, it was still in my floorboard where I tossed it Saturday).

Tuesday morning, on my way to work, I remembered the CD and the promise. I huffed and I puffed, mostly because I had to bend over to pick it up off the floorboard, and I popped it in the CD player.

By the time I got to work, which I should probably tell you is a short drive - maybe 12 minutes, I was laughing so hard I did not want to turn the car off. Who knew you could be THAT funny and not cuss? (kidding mom) She's totally funny and when you throw in that Southern accent, it's just the icing on the cake.

As much as I didn't expect to enjoy her, I've found myself listening to her going to and from work for two days now. This morning I'm almost finished with the CD, which is good because mom's gonna want it back, but I'm thinking I may copy it first. Shhhh, I don't think God would mind that much, do you? And since I didn't do any sort of contest with my one year blogoversary, I'm going to do a little something now.

The first person who says they know (well not know know, but you know) Chonda and would just love to own either this CD or DVD, is going to own their very own copy. And no, it wont be bootlegged. I promise it will come directly from her website to you still in the plastic wrap. And actually, if your already a fan and own this CD or DVD, and would rather have another (just keep in the same price range if you can), then that is what you shall have. Because I said so.

.
As for anyone who comments after the first person to want this CD, just drop me an email, and we can chat (*wink*wink).

And for all of you who are thinking, "Seriously Deb? Christian CD's and Sex ads?"
It's my blog and I can do as I please. Thankyouverymuch!

Guess who finished school?!

2009-05-12T16:35:00.010-04:00

HA - SIKE!! No, not me. Sorry.

*Just Jen* likes me; she REALLY likes me!! She gave me this little ditty.

She's been super busy with school (YAY! SHE'S FINISHED!!) and life stuff, so I was so happy just to see her back, let alone back with presents!

The Rules: Respond and rework.

Answer the questions on your blog, replace one question you dislike with a question of your own invention, and add one additional question.

What is your current obsession? VICTORIA SECRET SEXY LITTLE THINGS NOIR. EITHER THE PERFUME OR THE LOTION. YUM. JUST YUM.

Where are you right now? IN MY LIVING ROOM WATCHING RON WHITE (AGAIN) AND TYPING THIS POST

Do you nap a lot? BWAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHA! HA! THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY WASN'T IT? AS MUCH AS I WOULD LIKE TO, I CANT SEEM TO FALL ASLEEP DURING THE DAY.

What's one of your favorite movies? STEEL MAGNOLIAS. "I'm fine! I can jog all the way to Texas and back, but my daughter can't! She never could! Oh God! I am so mad I don't know what to do! I wanna know why! I wanna know *why* Shelby's life is over! I wanna know how that baby will *ever* know how wonderful his mother was! Will he *ever* know what she went through for him! Oh *God* I wanna know *why*? *Why*? Lord, I wish I could understand! "

What's one thing you're looking forward to? JUST ONE? UM... TAKING MY TRIP TO BALTIMORE IN SEPTEMBER TO SEE MY RED SOX!!! I WONDER IF I'LL BE ABLE TO GET JASON ALONE...

Who was your childhood crush? I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ONE PERSON MAKE FUN OF ME... BUT, BOBBY SHERMAN. I WANTED TO SIT IN THAT BIG HAND CHAIR WITH THAT HOTTIE.

What is your current favorite Song? DEAD ANG GONE. T.I. with JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

What would you like to get rid of? ABOUT 30 POUNDS OF UNSIGHTLY BABY FAT. WHAT? IT CAN STILL BE BABY FAT!

What's your favorite drink? DIRTY MARTINI WITH BLUE CHEESE STUFFED OLIVES.

What is your favorite thing to do on a weekend night? WATCH HOME IMPROVEMENT SHOWS WITH MY BFF WHILE PARTAKING IN ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES.

Why did you start your blog? AT THE TIME IT WAS THERAPEUTIC FOR ME TO TALK ABOUT MISSING LORELAI. THEN I REALIZED I LIKE TO RUN MY MOUTH, SO I DO.

If money was not an issue, what is one thing you would purchase for yourself? A NEW BODY FROM JUST UNDER MY NECK TO JUST ABOVE MY ANKLES. THE REST OF MY BODY I LIKE.

Now I get to pass this along.

I give this award to:

Jennifer Suarez

AmyBo @ Life of a Nguyener

and

Tiffany @ Stuck in the Sticks

ExtraBux

2009-05-12T13:45:00.001-04:00

I don’t know if any of you are like me when it comes to shopping, but to be honest, I would rather shop online whenever possible. I don’t like the crowds at the stores.

I came across a site that has a ton of online shopping deals, from some of my absolute favorite stores. Not only that, the more you buy, the more you MAKE. Yes, that says MAKE! Whatever commission the site gets from your purchase, is put into your account. Where else can you get money while spending it?!

You may look at the site and say, “Oh only a 3% cash back rebate at Target'”, but 3% adds up. As often as I shop at some of the stores they have listed, I think I’ll really start to see the savings add up. And Target is just one of the over 500 online stores you can shop.

This all may sound to good to be true, but its not. If you do nothing else, at the very least check out the site. I've already registered and can’t wait to start shopping. Anyone got a birthday coming up?

Review: UniFirst

2009-05-12T04:00:00.001-04:00

Any business owners out there looking for uniforms or other workwear items know that it’s a big business. There’s plenty of uniform companies to choose from, but the first one that comes to mind for me is UniFirst.

When I worked for the Nissan dealership as a service writer, we used UniFirst for all our uniform needs. I have to say though, if there was one thing I did not look forward to, it was wearing a uniform. I’ve seen them and knew with my body shape it would not be pretty. After I received my uniforms and put them on, I was impressed with how nice they actually looked. I felt like an actual professional. And the best part? Someone else got to clean them for me.

Uniforms were not all they provided for us though. They also took care of our hand soap, sanitizer, and paper towels in the rest rooms; and bi-weekly replacement of our floor mats and anti-fatigue mats. There’s so much more to them than just uniforms.

They not only offer traditional uniforms, they also offer what they refer to as corporate casual attire for businesses, and protective clothing such as coveralls. There’s very nice polo shirts with or without your companies logo; add to that a nice pair of khaki’s and you’ve got very nice workwear that again, you don’t have to launder.

They’ve also received several “Green” awards for their laundering process and continue to go above and beyond to help protect the environment.

If you’re in the market, check out their site and click on the “contact us” tab.

www(dot)virtualstreetcorner(dot)com

2009-05-11T20:36:00.001-04:00

It seems the world’s oldest profession has either gone high tech or prostitutes have just gotten lazy. According to this story, they’re using Craigs.list to attract customers (aka John’s or tricks – What? I know things).

I’m afraid to check Craigs.list myself (for all I know the AG is watching), but do they post pics? Call me crazy, but if I’m a “john”, I want to know what you look like before I waste my gas driving to what I assume would be a mutually agreed upon locale (ok, so I don’t know EVERYTHING). Then again, how do I know that’s what she’s really going to look like? Much like I could actually be a 65 year old bald man, she could be posting any picture she wanted and say it was her. I don’t like the odds.

Whatever happened to the good ole days when they would stand on street corners and try to sell there wares? Then they at least got some exercise walking up and down the boulevard. Now I’m guessing they’re all just overweight chicks who spend most of their time on the Internet.

Oh, right … stones - glass house.

Damn kid

2009-05-10T12:41:00.005-04:00

Here I was, making fun of, and picking on, Stress One (Chris), and he goes and posts this

Now I'm crying...

Happy Mother's Day to all you Mother's out there!!

Friday Fragments

2009-05-08T12:15:00.002-04:00

To participate in Friday Fragments, or to read more entries in this weeks edition, visit Mrs4444.

I think the “top commenter” widget is messed up again. Either that or you guys are getting demerits for bad behavior. That would explain a lot since JJBB used to be well over 500, and now she’s just mid 400’s. She’s been a bad, bad girl.

I can’t say where the rest of you were exactly, but that doesn’t mean I love you any less (especially you Tiffany – lmao), I just know that Jill’s numbers were WAY UP THERE and now… um, not so much. Behave yourself Jill.

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Why do I ALWAYS get in the wrong line? (and why did that sound like I’m about to do a stand up routine at the Comedy Cabana?) Any line – the drive thru at the bank, the grocery store, etc. I think it’s my own personal cross to bear. The other day I was pulling into the drive thru at the bank. I usually go to the first window because I’m so personable; I like to talk to the teller (all of you ZIPIT). But today that line was looonnngg. The one on the end had 4 cars in it, but the one in the middle (I sound like Goldilocks, …the one in the middle was juuust right) just had one pickup truck. SCORE!

I pulled in behind him knowing I would be out of there before anyone else. Yeah, sure you will. Every other line cleared out before I even moved. What the hell was this guy doing? Applying for a loan??!!

I think that bank drive thru lines should not only have transaction limits but also time limits. If something may take more than 3 or 4 minutes to do, you need to go inside!

NO, I don’t know how they would determine how long something would take at the drive thru – DO I HAVE TO THINK OF EVERYTHING?!?!

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I find this next bit of information surprising to say the least. It was the hubby that pointed it out to me while we were sitting on the couch the other night watching the ball game. He said, “It’s been almost a year that you’ve been blogging.’ It wasn’t out of the blue or anything, we were talking about a meet and greet that I’m looking SOOOOO forward to, that it makes me pee my pants to talk about it. But he’s the one that realized it had been so long and not me. Interesting.

Anyway, my blogiversary is TODAY!!! Can you believe it??!! One year ago today, I began this blog. And I was rereading the original post (last Friday) so sorry to all of you if it popped up in your Google readers. I bet that confused the hell out of ya – LMAO!!

I was going to do some really cool contest give-away, but I can’t think of a contest. Eh, maybe next year.

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I am not one to go back and reread comments on others blogs after I’ve posted mine. So, if there is a response you have to one of my comments, and you actually want me to see it, you may want to just email me. Now, if your commenting back something like “Go take a long walk off a short pier Soxy Deb” or “Go suck an old wet sock you crazy bitch”, then feel free to comment that on your blog. I don’t wanna know. I’m very sensitive. (suck that)

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Does it make me a bad wife if when my hubby starts telling me about his latest installation (he’s an HVAC guy), my eyes glaze over? I mean really, I don’t need to hear his latest edition of “Ductwork by Mike”. When our newest mall here in town was built, his company secured the bids for a lot of the stores inside. When the mall had its Grand Opening, he couldn’t wait to go. But not to shop. Instead to walk me through each store and point out all his handiwork. All I left the mall with that day was sore feet and a headache.

Mike: “I installed this duct blah, blah, blah as opposed to the blah, blah, blah way that’s outdated.” (that’s exactly what it sounded like too)

Me: “Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”

Should I pay better attention? Do you guys get that glazed over look when the hubby starts going into detail about his job? (God, please let someone else say yes.)

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That’s all I got today. As an update from last week though:

I never did get more Almond Joys (whatevs AmyBo)
hubby is still employed as am I
and my ridiculous whining did nothing for my comments. Actually, I think a few more of you have left me due to the whining. That just means your automatically disqualified from next years contest. How do you like that?!?!

Viva Las Vegas

2009-05-08T06:00:00.000-04:00

It seems every where I ~~turn~~ read, someone’s going to, or just coming back from, Las Vegas. Not to say I’m jealous (never been), but why don’t any of you offer to take me with you? I don’t eat much, which from what I hear doesn’t really matter anyway because food is supposed to be super cheap; and I don’t take up much room. I can even sleep on the floor. Then while I’m there, I can check into some of the interesting info I’ve read here. You never know, I might like it there so much, I stay.

The website has many tools for someone looking to make the move to Las Vegas. Pre-qualifying for home loans, a moving guide that will answer all your questions about local utilities, schools – whatever you need to know. They have a mortgage rate calculator as well as a ‘rent versus buy’ a home calculator, which in my opinion, is an awesome tool to have.

So if there’s any of you considering making that next trip to Las Vegas a permanent thing, remember these 2 things. The first is, I want to go too; and the second is, check out this site. They can probably get you set up in the home that’s perfect for you. Oh, and tell them Soxy Deb sent you.

My first...

2009-05-07T17:21:00.000-04:00

As I was entering the date on a proposal I was typing this morning, I realized that this date has great meaning to me. This is the date, 29 years ago, that I officially got my first boyfriend.

I was 14. His name was Troy H. He was a blond haired, blue eyed pretty boy and I was in love. You couldn’t tell me differently. We spent every moment we could that summer side by side. Most of the time we were at the Boys and Girls club in Olneyville*. There was nothing I wanted more than to be with Troy. I could smell him even when we weren’t together. And no, it wasn’t a stinky smell, it was just him.

Where my family lived, there was a small overhang right under my second story bedroom. Troy would come over and climb up to that overhang (via my fire escape) and we would talk through my screened window till the wee morning hours (his mom knew where he was, as did mine - these were different times). Thinking back, these may have been my best “growing up” times. Nothing has ever been as simple or easy since. Nothing.

We dated for only 3 months. And the break up was all my fault. It was August 5th and Troy was going to do some school shopping with his mom. I was hanging out at the Boys Club with my friends when someone suggested a game of manhunt. If you’ve never played, it’s basically like hide and seek, but for older kids. And in this version, we called it ‘catch and kiss’ manhunt. We were kids. Kissing was fun.

Long story short, I got “caught” by Chris D, and therefore, kissed by Chris D. Word got back to Troy and that was pretty much all she wrote. On August 8th, he dumped me. I was devastated. I honestly didn’t think I had done anything wrong, but he was humiliated and felt like it was my turn. So he dumped me, was mean to me, and didn’t speak to me for about a month. He made sure none of our friends talked to me either. Until he was ready to forget about the incident. Then everyone was friends again. We did remain friends, for several years in fact.

You never forget your first, do you? I wonder what Troy’s made of himself, and I wonder where he lives; but mostly, I wonder if he ever remembers me with the same warm thoughts I have for him.

Does anyone else have a “first” story? First boyfriend, first love. Anything?

Writer’s Workshop with Mama Kat

2009-05-07T06:43:00.001-04:00

It’s that time of the week again. The time when I should be cooking something (yes, that only happens once a week, why?), and yet here I sit, at the computer working up a blog post. He won’t wither away to nothing. I promise. There’s a loaf of bread in the kitchen.

So, as I was saying… I am participating again in Mama Kat’s writer’s workshop (clearly I need a tutor), and this week I chose Option 2:

Do you want a baby?

My first response to this question is – Why? Is someone giving one away? Because let’s face it, that’s the best way to get one if it’s possible.

Then I realized that’s not what the question is asking at all. It’s a more serious question that requires serious thought. The answer to which is yes, I would like to have a baby.

But not just any baby. Instead I would like the baby I helped bring into this world. The one I never knew I could love so much. The one I loved so much, that when she was gone, it was the equivalent of losing a piece of myself. The same baby that I was present for with so many of her firsts. Who lived in my house for the first year of her life, and her entire life in utero. The same one I should have spent more time with while I had the chance. And if I’d have known what the future would hold, I would have.

Yes. I want that baby. And although she’s no longer a baby, she’s still my baby.

Every day Lorelai. EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.

You have my heart.

Love,

Nani

Wordy Wednesday: The love of my life

2009-05-06T07:46:00.002-04:00

Blackberry 8330 Curve (in red, of course)… I waited so long for you… and now…

You com-plete me.

Much like AmyBo though, I don’t know too many people to ~~harass~~ chat with through the day (AmyBo ~~harasses~~ chats with me enough for 10 people though), so if you have a Crackberry and want to chat…let me know. It’s not like I have work to do … or school … or a life.

Cinco de Mayo

2009-05-05T06:53:00.000-04:00

Today is Cinco de Mayo. For some history on the date, click here.

I need no history lesson, just needed to know there was alcohol involved.

This is NOT me…

Not because I take offense to the sombrero’s she’s wearing on her boobies; I’m actually diggin that idea. No, it’s because she’s scary looking. Seriously.

But after a few more shots, SOMEONE’S gonna be takin her home (God please don’t let it be me…)

Happy ~~excuse to get drunk day~~ Cinco de Mayo!!!

Review: Photo to Canvas

2009-05-05T06:51:00.002-04:00

Have you ever taken a picture and just knew it was too good for plain photo paper? I personally haven’t, but that’s because I’ve just never really been very good at taking pictures. If you have though, and thought, I sure would like to put this photo to canvas, then have I got the website for you.

They offer several options such as: Pop Art, which is very popular right now; Lichtenstein, which is also a type of pop art that’s very cool; they can even take something as special as a family portrait and transfer it over to an oil painting. They also offer several other special styles to choose from. Simply upload your photo to their site, and follow the steps. They take care of the rest.

You can opt for the canvas to be rolled, then sent to you, or stretched and framed. They have some nice framing options to choose from as well.

All you photographers out there, beginner or pro, should really check out this site. If I ever have a picture that I want to have transferred to canvas, they’ll be my first choice.

A correction and a lesson

2009-05-04T14:21:00.000-04:00

First, I must make a correction. I said the Salem Red Sox were Triple A and they're actually Single A. Not that it matters to the majority of you, but I'm embarrased that I had that wrong. (Happy MIKE?!)

So I watched my movie - My Best Friends Girlfriend, with Dane Cook, Kate Hudson and Jason Biggs. Cute movie, but don't watch it if you get offended by sexual inuendo or a lot of swear words.

Then I sat in the back yard. Don't hate. It's how I roll.

Then it was time for the big game. Ok, not so big, but a ball game none the less and I do love my baseball.

Em. The first shot is of the Pelican's mascot. What I don't understand (and never have) is if they're a farm team of the Braves, why are they Pelicans? They even played the tomahawk chop music during the game (baseball fans will know what I'm talking about), but unless they were planning on chopping a Pelican, it just doesn't translate for me.

Anyway, Em. That's their uniforms. Powder blue and yellow. You asked, I provided.

The second shot is of a pitcher (what they call a closer) for the Red Sox. It's not Paps brother though, THG, he didn't come out to play.

We had great seats and the Red Sox won (too bad the big league Sox couldn't do the same). They'll be back again on the 4th of July weekend, so we're anticipating going back and then catching the fireworks after the show.

That's my weekend wrap up. I meant to step on the scale this morning but I forgot. I don't know if I want to tomorrow since I just finished a Big Mac combo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. *sigh*
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This morning my mom stopped by. She likes to get my day started off on a positive note. So she told me (or reminded me I should say) that she wants to be cremated. (SIDE NOTE: MOM IS NOT SICK AND/OR DYING ANYMORE THAN THE REST OF US.)
So I told her I know this. She said she just wanted to make sure. So then I said:
"Who's your beneficiary?" (might as well play along, right?)
She says: "Drew" (my youngest)
I say: "And who gets your car?" (not that I wanted it cause I don't)
She says: "Drew" (detecting a pattern anyone? - Drew's her favorite.)
So I say: "What do you want me to do with your ashes?" (please don't ask me to put them on my mantle)
She says: "Sprinkle them out over Springmaid Pier." (as you can probably guess this is a pier here in Myrtle Beach.)
So I say: "Do we need to do a trial run? Wanna go to the Pier now and I'll push you off?"

She left.

Between that and the text to Chris, neither one of them will be bothering me for a while.

Textual Relations

2009-05-03T08:27:00.001-04:00

My oldest (Chris, 24) had to work last night, and was therefore missing the Red Sox game. So he texted (I spell checked that) his father in about the 5th inning to get the score. As I’ve mentioned before though, he doesn’t know when to stop talking, so I helped him out a bit. Here’s how it went:

(loud phone buzz) Chris (via text): Hey! Who’s winning?

Mike: Red Sox 6-1.

(loud phone buzz) Chris: Cool. How’s so and so doing?

Mike: Good. 2 hits, scored a run…

(loud phone buzz) Chris: Awesome. How about so and so?

Mike: Good. 3 for 3. blah, blah, blah

Me (from my totally cool new Blackberry): Quit buggin us. We’re trying to have sex and your dad’s old and you keep making him lose his concentration and he has to start over. Love, Mom.

(no phone buzz cause my cool Blackberry is on quiet) Chris: I just threw up my hotdog.

Heh. I don’t think he’ll be bothering us during today’s game.

Update on my polka dots. The red dots have all but faded away. I can now go out in public without the fear of someone thinking I have some incurable and contagious disease. Which is good because I have plans today.

My arms, back and rib cage are killing me. Again, thanks to the hated manual labor yesterday and the subsequent use of muscles I DO NOT use. So today my day will go something like this:

Watch a movie this morning – hubbies golfing. Then I’m going to sit on on that lounge chair again for a bit. Then this afternoon, we’re going to see the local baseball team (Triple A team for the Atlanta Braves) Myrtle Beach Pelicans as they take on the (Triple A team for the Boston Red Sox) Salem Red Sox.

“Side Note: Jonathon Papelbon’s brother pitches for Salem, THG. I thought that was kind of cool. Hope he pitches today.”

Then after the game, grab a bite to eat and head home to watch The Amazing Race. Oh and somewhere in there, throw in a load or two of laundry. Maybe. We’ll see.

Hope you all have a great Sunday!!!

Manual labor

2009-05-02T12:47:00.003-04:00

I spent my morning doing what can only be described as manual labor. I don’t like it. Matter of fact, anyone who knows me IRL, knows that I avoid manual labor at all costs. I will take out a second mortgage on the house before I have to go out and mow the lawn. That’s what the husband’s for.

Our deal has always been – me inside, him outside. The End. But today he had some repairs to do outside the house that were going to be time consuming, so I told him I would trim the hedges. These hedges have not been trimmed since (thinking…thinking…) last July or August. Again by yours truly (manual labor hater). This was a big task.

I did accomplish it though. And got eaten alive for my troubles. Do you guys have those teensy, eensy bugs that bite and you can’t see them? We call them no-see-ums. For obvious reasons. But they leave these nasty red dots on you. I now look like I have a severe case of the measles.

Being right handed I only took pics of the left side, but you can see the red dots fairly clearly. They are ALL.OVER.MY.BODY. Well on all of what was exposed. But stupid me wore a bikini top because it seemed like a great opportunity for some sun while I was out there. So my back, belly, legs, and arms (but not face – weird, huh?) are all covered.

And it’s true what they say. Fat people do NOT look good in polka dots.

Oh and PS. Yes that is me sitting in a lounge chair in that last pic.

DON'T JUDGE! I WORKED HARD!

Friday Fragments

2009-05-01T07:24:00.001-04:00

Since I’m so good at following rules set forth by others, I thought I would jump in, with both feet, and play along with Friday Fragments. If you want to play along, visit Mrs4444.

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AmyAmyBoBamey saved my life. I swear. Before I read this post, my life was all dark, sad and well, lifeless. And now it’s all rainbows and butterflies. All thanks to her little lesson. I really dreaded reading items through my Google reader because it was a pain to have to click through to comment, but this “NEXT” button she talks about makes a WORLD of difference. You’ll love it kids, especially you Helga @ Just a thought. I guarantee it.

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I made our plans for our anniversary this year. It’s our 25th anniversary (HOLY CRAP – I didn’t think anyone could put up with me for that long) and I wanted to do something special. Are you sitting? Cause it’s awesome! I mean it – sit down.

We’re going to Baltimore!!!! To see the Red Sox play the Orioles!!! I know, I know. Some of you are thinking, “What!? Not gay Paris!?” But no, not me. You all know how much I love my Sox and this gives me an opportunity to see yet another of our major league ballparks. I’ve never been to Camden Yards so I’m stoked. I only hope the fans are not as rabid as the few I had the displeasure of sitting near in Tampa. I don’t mean no harm Tampa fans. I know all the teams have at least some crazy fans, but I didn’t enjoy sitting near people while they threatened each other with guns and shit. That’s just crazy. It’s just a ball game (True Heart - I choked on that last sentence).

So that’s where I’ll be in mid-September. I have to remember to change my blog password to keep from being blog-jacked again. (wink wink Jen and Georgie)

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I’m more than a third of the way through with school and maintaining a low 90 average. Right now I’m holding steady at 93. I’m working on a course which includes Business Writing, Sentence Structure, Punctuation and Capitalization – you know, all the things we think we should know how to do and yet I got a 72 on the first test. I have never been so embarrassed. 72? To complete this course I still need to submit 3 different “writing” projects. None of which sound fun or interesting. Why can’t I just write about something I want to and they can check it for spelling, punctuation and the like? I think the first one is to write about how I applied for and landed the perfect job or something.

So basically it’ll be a work of fiction.

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Mike’s company has been throwing around words like ‘lay-offs’ and ‘work shortages’. Not really something you want to hear when your worried that your own recently revoked lay off may also be re-imposed (is too a word!). If that didn’t make any sense, let me simplify it. I think I may get laid off again. For reals. Back to Mike… there have been several of his co-workers who have been released already and it makes me unbelievably nervous. We could barely make it when just I was laid off, but if he gets laid off and then I get ~~re-laid~~ laid off again. Oh, I shudder to think. I’m gonna need a really large sized cardboard box. And some really large sized valium.

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I guess that’s it for this edition of Friday Fragments. Be sure to tune in next time when we’ll find out:

Will Soxy Deb still be employed?

Will her ridiculous whining get her more comments?

Will AmyBo send her more Almond Joys?

Today I Will…

2009-04-30T07:19:00.001-04:00

I am participating in Mama Kat’s Writing Workshop again this week. Sometimes I get a case of writer’s block and it’s helpful to have a topic to post about.

Mama Kat discussed writer’s block the other day, and I tried, no doubt unsuccessfully, to explain to her what I thought my most common reason was for getting writer’s block. I think I try so hard to be as witty and well spoken as she and some other bloggers are, that I over-think what I should talk about as opposed to what I want to talk about. But hey, it’s my blog, right? I can talk about anything.

So I chose the prompt titled: Today I Will.

I immediately began thinking, should this be in bullet form, should this be a story or just a couple of paragraphs. Then I realized I was doing it once again. Over-thinking. So…

Today I will…

stop over-thinking what I want to write about and just be me. Warts and all. I think I’ve lost readers but not followers. Followers are increasing in numbers, but my comments are less than ever and I don’t know why. So if your one of my followers (or just a lurker), I’m giving you the floor. I need to know what I was doing that I’m not doing now – or vice versa. I need you to help me get back to me.

Today I will…

be more kind to my husband. We have issues, as all marriages do, and I get so bogged down with being mad at him, I forget that I do love him. Even when I don’t much like him. I must put forth a better effort at making sure he knows he’s loved. Today anyway. After all, this isn’t titled Tomorrow I Will.

Today I will…

try not to miss Lorelai with every fiber of my being. This one will be a tricky one. I think about her so much and it’s all still so raw. I found Flea’s (soon to be EX-DIL) Facebook page. I just sat there looking at her home page and came real close to “poking” her (you FB’ers know what I’m talking about), but I think their idea of poking (virtually) and my idea of poking (with a prison yard shiv – really, really hard) are possibly not the same thing. So I didn’t. I don’t look good in orange.

Today I will…

vow to not let my gas tank get so low that the gas light comes on while I’m driving through East BFE praying to Our Heavenly Father to just let me get to the gas station. Thank you Heavenly Father for cell phones. Amen. By the way, my gas lights on.

Today I will…

try (with a capital TR) to not lose my patience when Stress One, aka Chris, continues to blabber about politics even though no one is responding, or paying any attention, or hell, even in the same room anymore. He’s like the freakin Energizer Bunny. ‘Cept he’s not pink.

and last but not least,

Today I will…

start anew. I’m going to be a better blogger. An indispensible employee. A great and trusted friend. An amazing wife, mother and kick-ass student.

Seriously, you should see my cape.

Wordy Wednesday

2009-04-29T09:48:00.000-04:00

At work on this lovely spring morning and this little fella comes for a visit.

I've said before, I don't take great pictures.

But he was too cute to not share with y'all.

He's been with me for a couple hours now. Just looking at me through the window while sitting on the sill.

I'm taking it as a good sign.

Or instead, he's related to this bird and he's actually just doing surveillance. The jig is up.

Test

2009-04-28T10:56:00.001-04:00

Testing

Testing Windows Live Writer. Your supposed to be able to write a blog post from it and have it upload to your home blog. Let’s see if it works….

Is this thing on??

I love the smell of a giveaway in the morning.

2009-04-28T08:35:00.000-04:00

Linda @ Short Pump Preppy is having a giveaway.
I've said it before, but it bears repeating. You need not enter this contest. I am going to win.
Don't waste your time. Time is valuable, spend it with your kids instead. They miss you.
Thank you.

This is what she is giving away! The Evolve Water Lily.

According to Linda:
"Cool thing about this brand is the the Shower Smart Technology. Turn on the shower, ~~get back in bed go grab a donut~~ do your morning exercises and when the temperature gets hot enough, it turns to a trickle. I know! Pull the cord to resume water flow."

How much can you save? According to the site..

$75 yearly utility savings*
2,700 gallons yearly water savings*
11 months payback time*
*estimate

And I need a new shower head. So as you can see, my winning is a forgone conclusion. It's kismet, if you will.

Fine, whatever! Go check it out and enter if you want. But if your kids start acting like they don't know who you are, you only have yourself to blame.

The Leaning Tower of Deer Park

2009-04-27T22:50:00.000-04:00

You know it's Monday when.......

Your water bottle can't even stand upright.

The worst part is I didn't even notice it. My boss pointed it out to me. Of course, I too was leaning a little 'hard right', so it looked perfectly straight to me.

I beg your pardon??!!?!?!

2009-04-27T09:29:00.000-04:00

While perusing through the hundreds (about 522) of pictures the photographer took of the wedding, I came across this one.

This is not the way to find out your son smokes. Grrrrrr...

Jackie and Drew looking just gorgeous. I've never seen a more lovely bride or handsome groom.

The bridesmaids with the bride (Laura, the bridesmaid, immediately to Jackie's right, is 6 months pregnant. (*$&#*!!!!)

The groomsman with the groom (immediately to Drew's right-bestman Lane. We call him pixie cause he likes Pixie sticks)

The happy couple (and CRAP! I'm crying AGAIN!! WTH?!)

And although these kids - all of them - are a photogenic bunch, this is my favorite picture. Honest. The rings on her bouquet? Love it. Wish I'd have thought of it (lol).

That brings to a close the wedding chapter. Next we'll talk about something more important. Like sex or something.

You call this hot?!?!

2009-04-24T06:07:00.004-04:00

Keep in the back of your mind that I am 14 during this Adventure in Babysitting.

Back in the summer of 1980, my mom loaded us up in the Catalina and headed to Texas to try to talk some sense into my oldest brother. He had left a girl back home (RI) and it turned out she was pregnant. Mom wanted him to do the right thing, but he wasn't in love (or in like) with her and felt she got pregnant on purpose. True? Who knows and who cares cause it's not relevant to the story I'm telling.

We were going to Texas. I was thrilled because I was such a huge Cowboys fan. I had no idea how big the friggin state was. I never saw a Cowboy - real or otherwise. We were in Galveston. I saw a lot of something, but again, not what this story is about.

My brother was managing this apartment complex at the time and there was an apartment empty (furnished) where we were able to stay while trying to coerce him to come back home and marry the effing drug addicted, crackwhore bitch who would one day become my sister in law. Good times, good times...

Side note: Y'all - it's hot in Texas. And not like any hot I've ever felt in my life. There were times when I walked outside that the humidity was so high I felt like my chest was gonna cave in. Y'all need to work on a way to get central air installed outside cause that's just messed up. The only place it should be that hot is hell.
Now back to our story already in progress...

The apartment we stayed in (note I didn't say rented cause technically we were squatters) was across from this adorable young couple who had a little boy. He was 4 and just the sweetest little cherub. Everytime I saw him, he smiled up at me from under his long eyelashes and my heart just pitter pattered. It was at that moment I knew I would have children. He was too precious not to want one of my own. (yes - 14 and stupid)

Now I should qualify all this by saying I had never been around any of them for more than a couple of minutes here and there and had never been into their apartment. That being said...

They asked me if I would babysit for them the coming weekend. I had been sitting for other people and I knew I was good with kids, and a few dollars sounded good to me (with the exception of the fact that I would have to actually go outside to spend it - oh the unbearable heat).
Friday night came and I walked across the hallway at 6 sharp to tend to the little angel. Mom was just putting him some spaghettio's in a bowl for dinner and I told her I would take it from there. Have a nice night. Why, oh why, did I not think of emergency numbers? Anyone? Anyone...? (14)
Dinner done and now it's bathtime. Everything is going well, and while I run the water I pop a Mr. Pibb in the freezer to get it nice and cold to have when I'm done with bathtime. Rub a dub dub. Clean as a whistle! I rinse out the bathtub and head to the living room to watch a video with him.
It's nearly bedtime and I ask if he wants me to read him a story. "Yes! Please!" he says. "But first I have to go to the bathroom." His mom told me he might need help getting up on the toilet if he had to poo, but the rest he could handle himself. So he had to poo and I sat him on the toilet. 10 minutes went by and I hesitantly knocked to ask if he was alright. He said he was and he would be out in a minute. Why, oh why did I not just walk in?
5 more minutes passed and I was a little worried because I didn't know what they had in their bathroom and gor forbid there was something he could hurt himself with. So I knocked again, still wanting to let him be a big boy, and asked if he needed any help. Nope! Wiping my bum-bum and I'll be right out. 2 more minutes and that was it for me. I knocked and told him I was coming in. Why, oh why did I go in?

There was wall to wall poo. The only spot there was none was the ceiling. And that's probably only because he didn't have enough time to find the extension ladder. My gag reflex started to kick in and I didn't think I would make it. I cleaned him up best I could and dared him to move an inch while I cleaned the bathroom. Once the bathroom was clean I gave him another bath and then put him straight to bed. *You might think your still getting a story, but don't count on it.*
Kid in bed and I sit down to recenter my chi (I don't even know what that means, but it sounded good). It's at that precise moment that I hear the loudest POP I've ever heard in such a small place. I start wandering around, first to check on the helion because who knows what he's up to now, but he's fast asleep. I guess poo-poo, finger-painting is exhausting. I see nothing out of place. Then I remember. Mr Pibb.
I opened the freezer and the Pibb can had exploded. The whole freezer was covered in the icy goodness that is Mr. Pibb. Or that was Mr. Pibb. *SIGH, one more mess to clean up.
I'd say about an hour later, I hear the cherub crying out in his sleep. I peeked in to check on him and he's definitely still sleeping. But I see a large dark spot on his back and am immediately concerned that he did hurt himself somehow. It was too dark to see so I turned on the hallway light and see not only one dark mark, but probably hundreds. That scattered when the light came on!!!!! They were cockroaches!!! All over the cherub and everywhere else in that room!!! Thank god most of them ran off cause I scooped up the cherub and ran the hell across the hallway to our place where he and I stayed till his parents came home. (The hairs on the back of my neck are up just remembering that night.)
I never sat for them again, and don't remember actually seeing them too many more times either. That was by far the worst experience(s) I have ever had babysitting.

Do you have a horrific babysitting story to share? Or maybe a funny one? Hit me up right down there with Mr. Linky and tell us about it. Don't forget to leave me a comment too once you get it up and posted so I can go over and read it. I challenge anyone to have a more horrible story than mine. The gauntlet has been thrown down. Who's gonna be the first to pick it up?....

My not quite so birds-eye-view of the fire

2009-04-23T12:01:00.001-04:00

These top photos are ones I took about an hour ago while driving back from North Myrtle Beach, SC. This is about 20 miles from my home and traveling South.

These last 2 are me driving in to my development. This part of the fire is about 6 miles from my house. This is where the fire originated.

They now say 15,000 acres have burned. Over 100 homes damaged and 50 destroyed.

I feel bad for being relieved that it is not coming this way. Does that make me a bad person? If not, why do I feel so bad for being so glad? Where's my therapist when I need her?

According to this link (and if a blue pin thingie shows on there, I live just to the left of it) this is what is the most up to date info on the fire.

MamaKat's Writing Workshop

2009-04-23T10:15:00.000-04:00

This week I decided to partake in Mama Kat's Writing Workshop and I chose the first option:
Book Review.
I'd written this previously for a book review blog I belong to, but I've never posted it here on my own blog. So enjoy.

Jaquelyn Mitchard: The Most Wanted

I read this book the first time about 5 years ago. It was about that time that I realized that if I really enjoyed a book, as much as I did this one, then maybe I should not donate them to the library. I knew I would read most of them over again, as I did with this one. I still donate books mind you, just not as many. I'm glad this one made it into the "save me" pile.

SYNOPSIS:

Arlington (Arley) Mowbray, Dillon Thomas Legrande and Annie Singer are the 3 main characters of this tale. 14 year old Arley lives in a small town in Texas where at a very young age she accepted her role as caregiver to her mother and older brother. She never really knew love and when she decided to become a pen pal to Dillon, a resident of the Solamente River Prison, her need to love and be loved takes her on a road she never could have imagined.
Within a couple of months her path crosses with Annie Singer. Annie's a lawyer and general do gooder for the poor and down trodden woman whose husbands, for recreational purposes, beat them nearly every weekend.
When the child of 14 comes in claiming to be married to a 25 year old man and having been turned down by the warden for a conjugal visit, Annie feels in her gut that this is one she needs to handle personally.

Jaquelyn Mitchard weaves a tale here that forbids the reader from putting this one down. The characters are so real I feel like I know them personally.

I would definitely classify this as chick lit, and don't be surprised if you wind up wiping away tears more than once.

Fire

2009-04-23T07:31:00.001-04:00

I have a post for today, but I wanted to take a minute to ask for your thoughts and prayers (if your so inclined) for all the families who have lost or are in danger of losing their homes.

This is Myrtle Beach, SC yesterday and today. At this time they say the fire is out of control.

This highway (Carolina Bays Parkway or Hwy 31) is literally 3 miles out my front door. Luckily for us the winds went North and not South and we are about 7 miles south of the southernmost tip of the fires. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for us, but my thoughts are with the other families (some 70 homes already destroyed and 8000 acres burned) who are in peril.

Thank you in advance for your thoughts.

Wordy Wednesday

2009-04-22T12:13:00.001-04:00

Before we went on vacation to Orlando (and for a few years before that) this license plate adorned my front plate. We don't require two plates in SC, just one on the rear of the vehicle which allows us to put pretty little plates - like that one - on our cars. I was proud of that.

This is a picture of my new (noticed the day before we left Florida) front license plate. Pretty, no? I think a Tampa Bay Rays fan who is shall we say, half a bubble off plumb, ripped it from my car. If you see him/her, tell 'em they owe me $10.50 plus shipping and handling. M'kay? Thanks.

It's admittedly still early in the season, but he who laughs last Ray's fan.... he who laughs last.

I love Zombies and Chicken

2009-04-21T09:00:00.000-04:00

Georgie gave me a little somethin somethin. I think she likes me.

According to the legend of the zombie chickens, they're not a friendly bunch. Hiding out in farmhouses far and wide. Waiting for that one rooster who thought he was the big cock back in the day. He's not smiling now, I guarantee it. So when someone says they would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to read your blog, it really means something. I'm not sure what yet, but something.

The Zombie Chicken award is described thus:
"The blogger who receives this award believes in the Tao of the zombie chicken - excellence, grace and persistence in all situations, even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. These amazing bloggers regularly produce content so remarkable that their readers would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to be able to read their inspiring words. As a recipient of this world-renowned award, you now have the task of passing it on to at least 5 other worthy bloggers. Do not risk the wrath of the zombie chickens by choosing unwisely or not choosing at all..."

I'm not sure when the "production of remarkable content" is supposed to start, but if y'all see it before me, let me know.

I will wisely pick others to pass it on to for no other reason than that one chicken has his eye hanging out of his socket. Not a fate I wish to befall me.

Liza over at A Diva and A Princess

~~Scarlet~~ Em presiding over Life, Liberty and the Pursuit...

JamieD who is currently incubating at The Therapist is In

and..

Jane who is hard at work at Gaston Studio

Don't tell the zombie chicks, but I think I ate a relative for dinner.

Review: National Relocation

2009-04-21T06:00:00.000-04:00

Ah, the Internet. It's a wonderful thing, no?

Let's say your moving and looking for homes to rent. Perhaps being relocated for your employment. This website can offer you a peek into the real estate market before you get there.

You say your relocating to Myrtle Beach, SC? Here are some houses in my neck of the woods. Look at how easy it is to find the perfect, and hopefully affordable, housing. Kind of takes all the leg work out of it for you. I just love feeling all voyeuristic seeing the insides of these homes and most of them have plenty of pictures to scroll through.

And there's more to this site than just house hunting. There are several tabs along the top of the site that also help you with things such as Insurance or Mortgage information. Heck there's even a tab that will take you to properties that have been foreclosed. I know no one wants to profit from someone else's tragedy, but you might find a great deal.

If your looking toward a move some time in the future, check out the site.

Postcards from the Edge

Where do the weekends go?

My first (YES Chris, this one IS about you)...

Nesting, Exercising and lies...oh my

A Chris is just a Chris

New Year and New Beginnings

I wonder who our baby will look like.

The one in which I beg for your forgiveness. Or for chocolate. I’m still unsure

There’s almost nowhere else to hide

This is an actual FB conversation with Stress 1

Chris

Me

Chris

Me

Housekeeping

The light at the end of the tunnel WASN'T a train...

Wordless Wednesday

Mads birthday pics

*ahem* Friday Fragments

The other shoe has finally dropped

Sad News from Pilsbury

Well Done!

Not quite Wordless Wednesday

An Update to the 7 Wonders...Seriously

It's not all business; there's been some pleasure

Tis the Season!!

Do you see what I see.....?!?!

Review: Direct TV

Begin at the beginning

Catsup, Ketchup, Catch Up

Review: Diesel is more than just a gas

Almost Wordless Wednesday

WAT-AAH! Challenge

Stop the world, I want to get off

The "Lost" Girls Weekend

I could live here. If I had a job. And a place to live.

The Song Remembers When

Review Direct TV

Recycling

I'm a giver.

Don't call it a COMEBACK!

Happy, Happy Birthday Baby ...

Wordy Wednesday

The One in Which I regain my title of Daughter of the Year

And thank you again

Thank You

“Paranoia the Destroyer” (as sung by The Kinks)

Wordy Wednesday

100 reasons to love me (again)

Lake House Part Deux

Insatiable indeed

Friday Fragments

Hey there old friend. It's been a while.

Wordy Wednesday

Wordy Wednesday

Remember when you used to like me?

Writer's Workshop: A memorable gift

Wordless Wednesday

Crazy 8's (or How Sunny punishes those closest to her)

I'm not allowed to talk to the kids anymore AND how Tentcamper ruined me

Friday Fragments

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop

Wordy Wednesday

Didja miss me?

In and Out

Pillow Talk

Friday Fragments

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner. Shit, now I'm hungry

"Wickedly" Wordy Wednesday (and a giveaway) ((UPDATED))

Guess who finished school?!

ExtraBux

Review: UniFirst

www(dot)virtualstreetcorner(dot)com

Damn kid

Friday Fragments

Viva Las Vegas

My first...

Writer’s Workshop with Mama Kat

Wordy Wednesday: The love of my life

Cinco de Mayo

ahem Friday Fragments