“Paranoia the Destroyer” (as sung by The Kinks)

I’m playing along in Mama Kat's Writing Workshop this week.  I need to get back into the blogging saddle and I think I can do a couple posts a week.

Here are the options for the Writer’s Workshop this week:


The Prompts:
1.) Tell us about a "dirt cheap" you've taken this summer.
(inspired by Anti-Supermom)
2.) When I grow up I want to be like...
(inspired by Jenny Says What?)
3.) Describe a difficult moment that you survived.
(inspired by Sarah M.)
4.) List 5 things you like to do while camping...or 5 places you'd like to go.
(inspired by Kisatrtle)
5.) What are you paranoid about?
(inspired by Melissa)

I have chosen #5.  What are you paranoid about?

I don’t know if paranoid is the right word really, but I think it describes it as well as any other word could.  I am paranoid of losing a family member.

Here at the beach, there are a seemingly never ending ring of sirens.  In June (I believe the date was the 5th) 1998, my SIL had picked my son (then 11) up from his last day of school to take him to get a hair cut for me while I was working. It was raining. As they were leaving the barber shop, Nic was t’boned on her side and the were shoved across a couple lanes of travel.

Meanwhile, I was at work. I had called home to my eldest (then 13) to make sure he got home ok from school and he had. He asked me where Drew was and I told him that Auntie Nickie had picked him up and was taking him to get a hair cut, but they should be home by now. I told him they would be there soon, and to call me when they got in.

A few minutes later my phone at work rang. I just looked at it as if it were a snake. I just knew something was wrong. I picked it up and it was someone official. I couldn’t tell you if it was EMT or Police because I honestly didn’t hear what they said except that there had been an accident. I don’t remember the drive to the hospital, truth be told, I don’t remember much about the few hours after the phone call, but when I got there and saw Drew, he was pretty banged up. Broken arm (which required surgery and a rod and screws) to repair and some damage to his Achilles. Nic was worse. The ER doc told my MIL that they weren’t sure she would make it through the night. Scary stuff.

I wont tell the entire story, some of it is personal and about Nic, and I have no right to talk about her medical issues. Suffice it to say they all came out of it. This is where my paranoia about losing a family member really began.

I can’t hear of a wreck on a traffic report, or hear a siren off in the distance and not wonder where all my ‘eggs’ are.  It’s actually caused more than one fight between Mike and I. He goes out of town a lot and if I don’t know what time to expect him, then I don’t know what time to expect him. Does that make sense?  For heaven’s sake, just call me when your about an hour out and then I wont worry needlessly. 

Some will say that I’m worrying needlessly anyway. The odds are slim and whatnot, but I can’t help it.  I really can’t. I have tried. I still do, but there’s just no way for me to NOT worry about them when I don’t know where they are. 

So they put up with me. I like to think I’ve gotten better as the boys have gotten older, but it may just be that now, more of it gets deflected onto Mike. Bless his heart.  It is what it is though. And I think they love me anyway.

Tell me, my dear Internets, what are you paranoid about?